This town has shut down, patrons have gone home. GOOD! Unfortunately, this really affects how the remaining stragglers get treated. I have plenty of time to talk on the phone at work these days. Still a young woman came in, interrupted me while on the phone, only to ask me “Ma’am! Ma’am! Where’s your bathroom?” Now who the hell walks into a place, interrupts you while on the phone, only to ask where the bathroom is? I’ll tell you who, either a blind asshole who can’t see you’re on the phone, or someone who has to take a serious shit. Well guess what, no-one uses the bathroom unless they buy something from me. So I politely yelled to my friend that I will call her back after I deal with this bathroom situation. By this time the NON-patron was holding her guts, “Tell me where your bathroom is Miss”. Well, I simply told the ready-to-explode stranger that we don’t have bathrooms unless you buy something from me first. I got this look of disgust, then I told the young lady to use the port-o-lets in the back of the property. “Oh no, I’m not using them!”, she exclaimed. “There’s too many flies in those things” she said. I said again, “Buy something from me and I will let you use my bathroom”. This lady threw a fit, “It’s against the law, you have to let me use the bathroom”. Oh no she didn’t. I told her (a soft yell more like) that this is private property, I don’t want you shitting in our toilet, using our water, using our toilet paper, using our paper towels, or our garbage can, so go use the portable john. Oh this stranger was very angry “I hope you don’t break down in front of my house” she yelled, and stormed out of the building giving me the finger.

Ahh well, even if I did break down in front of a house, needing to take a major shit, I certainly wouldn’t walk up to a strangers house asking if I can take a dump in their bathroom. I would rather crap in the woods.

Anyways, the moral of the story is this:
If the stranger was about to shit out a newborn, I STILL wouldn’t have let her in the bathroom.