Why bother even having a menu. You know how menu’s are all organized by Breakfast, Lunch, Sandwiches, Soups, Sides, and of course Beverages? This is very very confusing to an average patron. So confusing that 25% of our patrons think they are making crap up on the menu. They say things like “I don’t see this on the menu, but I’ll have eggs, bacon, potatoes, and toast”. Yea I guess this means “I want BREAKFAST”?

Or why when I ask “What can I get you to drink?”, they say things like, “What do you got to drink?”. This means the menu was useless once again.

I have walked up to tables that seriously have asked “Do you have good lettuce?” Would I be able to sell a fricken salad or sandwich if the menu said I have bad lettuce? Again, the menu was rendered useless.

Another illiterate moron asked me just today “Do you have hot sauce for your hot wings?” And of course I am not shocked by our useless menu’s text explaining that our wings can be served hot, medium, or mild.

Another useless menu item is Sausage Gravy. Just the other day I got a vegetarian that wanted her Sausage Gravy with-out the sausage. OK now where on the menu does it say “Meatless Sausage Gravy?”. Meanwhile the patron was using the menu to fan herself.