What the hell is up with people stealing things when they go out to eat. O.K. I can almost understand taking the sugar packets. They are small and easy to carry. Brightly colored and almost everyone likes something sweet now and then.

It is a little harder to comprehend why anyone would want to take the salt and pepper shakers. I mean think about it. They have been touched by every snot nosed toddler, flu infested tourist, and have probably hit floor a number of times so high that infinity feels threatened.

Last but not least. What the fuck is with pilfering poo paper? Are you planning to T.P. a small third world country, or are you just mad at the ding dong who talked on his cell phone incessantly, and your positive that they are the next in line for the toilet.

My mother taught me that if it is not yours don’t touch it, and that stealing is wrong. I have to note that either you are motherless or you come from a long line of thieves.

I would also like to offer my apologies to those of you that have to steal simply because you are poor. I guess that was pointless. If you can’t afford shit paper I reckon you don’t have an internet ready house.