“Ma’am, Ma’am!!! There is an eyelash in my soup. Will you bring me a new one?”

Now everyone knows what I’m going to do in this kind of situation. I’m going to take the soup into the kitchen, spoon out your eyelash, and add a little more soup on top of it to heat it up a bit. Problem solved! Or did they want a new eyelash? Now I’m confused. I’ve got it. I’ll bring a new bowl of soup with a new eyelash.

“Here is your soup Ma’am.”
“Excuse me!”
“What now?”
“There is an eyelash in my soup.”
“Yes I know.”
“Well, I asked for a new one.”
“I know. That’s what I gave you.”
“No you didn’t.”
“Yes I did. I gave you a new eyelash. That will be three dollars and ten cents for the soup, and fifty cents for the eyelash.”
“But I wanted new soup.”
“Ma’am, if you keep complaining I’ll have to charge you for the both eyelashes.”

There goes another unhappy customer. She should have sprung for the pubic hair. They are much more filling.