Did you eat a Bowl of Stupid for Breakfast?
Is your coffee hot? No, it’s cold brewed and kept on ice.
Do you have a menu? No. You’ll have to guess.
Does your fish taste fishy? No. It’s sort of porkish.
Is your beer cold? Yes. Every time I stick it in my vagina, it cries rape.
When is the weather going to clear up? Let me talk to Lester.
Does your lettuce grow in dirt? No. It’s grown in outer space on a small space farm in Orions Belt.
Do you work here? No. I hang out in restaurants all over the world and wear their T-shirts for fun.
Do you have egg whites? No. The egg whites were contaminated and we could only keep the yolks.
How big is your foot long hot dog? 30.48 centimeters.
Waitress4Life on October 24th, 2007
Hi!
I love your blog!! I can relate!!
I was tagged with the Thinking Blogger Award, and part of the acceptance is to “tag” 5 more blogs with it. Since I find restaurant humor to be my favorite, I chose your blog as one of my favorite 5.
To find out more about this award, and to get the image, please visit
http://waitress-stories.blogspot.com/2007/10/thinking-blogger-award.html
Thanks again!!
Beth
ali on October 25th, 2007
Those are like the customers who walk into my Tavern (yes, it’s even in the name), see the wall full of booze, then get mad when I tell them that we don’t have booster seats for their kids.
Gotta love the smarties.
Manuel on October 25th, 2007
Are you open? No, no all these other people sitting here eating are just staff on their breaks….
Great post…
Upset Waitress on October 25th, 2007
Ali, just direct them to the changing station at the end of the bar, next to the binky dispenser. Would your young’un like a Harvey Wallbanger, or a shot?
Jenny on October 25th, 2007
The cold beer one is the one that made me spit my water out. Funny.
Mary on October 26th, 2007
Not all lettuce is grown in dirt — a lot of it (especally tender lettuce like Bibb) is grown hydroponically (ie, in water). Just FYI.
Upset Waitress on October 26th, 2007
We all know alot of things don’t grow in dirt these days. Actually, I’m surprised eggs still come from chicken holes.