The Drunken Cook.
Every day it’s the same thing. I ask for two eggs, bacon, and hashed browns. The damn cook gives me egsh, baconun, and hashishedish brownens. If I ask for a cheese burger, I get a sheezziz booger. An order of onion rings comes out an order of oneenum things. Pancakes become pattied flakes. Now, it is important to note that this is not just the way the cook pronounces these dishes. It is how the food appears. So, if you are in the mood for something new and indescribable, come down and enjoy some of our shlopshter beesck, or a grilt hamem and sheezziz snamich. Blond an a pete.
Jenny on October 25th, 2007
I’m sorry that I’m laughing at your pain. OK, not really. I’m not sorry.
Upset Waitress on October 26th, 2007
It’s O.K. Jenny. Laugh and laugh some more. The cook says he nowshes weres youst libs. He’s gonna bring a bignig canna ub woo-oopinash. When my cook serves you up a helping of woo-oopinash you feel it. Especially the next day. =)
Translation: The cook says he knows where you live. He’s gonna bring you a big can of whoop-ass.
=)
Manuel on October 27th, 2007
I worked with a chef once who had a really really bad drink problem. We had a fruit cocktail made with peach schnapps on our Christmas menu a few years back. It wasn’t very popular but we still managed to get through 3 bottles a night, or rather he did……
Upset Waitress on October 27th, 2007
Shoot. Have you ever worked with a drunk Mexican cook? I do everyday, he claims he’s a cheese picker. I don’t know what to do with the boy. I tell him daily “Shut your trap or I’m calling INS on your ass”. Problem is, he’s having senorita problemas and has been a sob. He’s been with us for years and years. Ahh well, what can I say Manuel. Just makes for a series of good posts.