The “Special” Table.
Let me tell you about our special table. It has one leg shorter than the rest. Sort of oval on the left where it had caught fire two years ago. It’s rectangularishy on the right where the delivery truck ran over it the day we got it. Two of the legs have casters and sit on the only uneven part of the floor. It seats five and a half people or ten and three quarter half persons. Please have a seat. This table was made for you.
Jenny on October 28th, 2007
Dear Upset Waitress:
Please tell me the truth. How do you determine who gets the “special table.”
Yours Truly,
The Person Who Always Gets It.
Upset Waitress on October 28th, 2007
The criteria for special table seating is varied and complex. I can not say for sure why you get the special table. Just remember to wipe the drool off your chin and not to begin your sentences with motor boat sounds. If that doesn’t work pull your underwear off your head and try again.
Manuel on October 29th, 2007
I have table 7. No view on the left or right, beside door to toilets, drafty, and wobbles. Take that non-tipping returning customer……
Tony on October 29th, 2007
Ok, off topic Tony here…email me at gordon.tony@gmail.com to get our Choose your ending thing going…by the way, hilarious post, so is the wall-eyed waitress one!