I know it’s in there. I can see it. I can feel it. When I put the lid on it and shake it, I can hear it. Why won’t it come out? I have beaten it. Shaken it. I’ve rolled it from one end of the restaurant to the other. I tried boiling it. I tried putting it in the sun. I even thought of breaking the bottle to get at it. It just won’t come out. So I screamed at it. I cussed it. Finally I decided to have mustard on my hot dog. The six year old next to me asked if he could have the ketchup. I handed it to him and snickered to myself. I looked over at the youngster and he had a yummy hot dog covered in ketchup. So I grabbed my purse and knocked him to the floor. I hate a show off.
9 Responses to ' Heinz Sight 20/20 '
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on November 26th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
need to open a ketchup bottle? put a white shirt on it, it will ope/explode with ease…….the bastard
on November 27th, 2007 at 6:09 am
I hope you wiped your spit off the top of the bottle before passing it to the six year old…gives a whole new meaning to the term “marrying the ketchup,” though this practice stops once the knot is tied.
I do like your technique. Gets me hot.
Peace,
- Dennis
http://www.donttipthewaiter.blogspot.com
on November 27th, 2007 at 8:16 am
Perhaps the ketchup sensed the upcoming hostility and acted accordingly?
on November 27th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
That’s really a good look for you, UW!
on November 27th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
His hands probably weren’t shaking?
on November 27th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Yes, I find administering oral sex is a great way to coax ketchup out of a bottle..
on November 27th, 2007 at 7:09 pm
UW…I just checked out your White Trash Cookbook. That’s awesome! I must be white trash, though, because many of the recipes make sense.
on November 27th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
Oh Dennis, you can take the girl out of the trailer, but you can’t take the trailer out of the girl.
on November 27th, 2007 at 7:26 pm
Manuel, That’s stupid. That’s like putting on white pants when you know your period is late.
Ribeye, I don’t know what the Ketchups motivation was, but you should never eat a wiener without a condiment.
Jenny, his hands were on fire!
Dennis, Thanks, you should see me on Saturday night!