We Just Smell Dead
The local senior citizen home had it’s monthly outing today and decided to stop in for a bite to gum. It was terrible. Six biddies kicked off their orthopedics and rolled down their support hose. It smelled like burnt fish and spoiled blue cheese. Luckily I didn’t have to endure that stench for too long. It was quickly over taken by the smell of adult diapers about to burst. Soon the clicking of ill fitted dentures became a stampede of elephants in my head. The incessant clicking was occasionally interrupted by the clattering of a partial falling on to the plate. Two long hours and one ambulance later they were gone. I have to say it wasn’t all that bad. The table with Alzheimer’s never ordered anything and tipped me twice.
Manuel on November 28th, 2007
a lot of mashed up and blended food i suspect…..and a stiff drink for you too…..i cant wait to be old(er)
Jay on November 28th, 2007
Yeah, that’s gross.
Dennis on November 29th, 2007
Should’ve met the table with Alzheimer’s at the door on their way out and told them: “I can show you to your table now.” As long as they keep forgetting to eat, you could play this game all night.
Waitress4Life on November 29th, 2007
They’re putting an assisted living center in across the road from my restaurant -
Is this what I have to look forward to???
Ali on November 29th, 2007
There’s a guy who comes in every now and again. Dave’s been serving this guy ever since Dave’s been a bartender. Dave’s in his sixties. The guy is nice enough, but always shakey and he has a hard time hearing.
Upset Waitress on November 29th, 2007
Yes that is gross Jay, welcome to my little corner of the internet.
Waitress4life, you’re a smart server, just pawn those shitty tables off to your dizzy co-worker.
Dennis, you’re full of wits. I would only entertain that idea if they’re in wheel chairs. Otherwise it would take forever to seat them dusty old farts over and over.
Why can’t you wait to get old Manuel? Do you miss shitting in your pants?
Upset Waitress on November 29th, 2007
Ahh yes Ali. Shaky old men with the plight of a coffee cup filled to the brim is sick entertainment for me!
Restaurant Gal on November 29th, 2007
I had a group of seniors come into one of my DC restaurants. Party of 16. As they gathered in the foyer, I told them I had a great table for them. “What table? Why?” asked the leader of the gang. “We don’t want to sit together! We do that every day. Separate tables for everyone. Thank you.”
I wrote a post about it. Can’t remember when it was, probably spring of 2006.
Oh those were the days….
Upset Waitress on November 29th, 2007
Hah that’s hilarious RG. I’d love to read that one!