Christmas at the “Special” Table.
A very nice woman with multiple personalities can for sure throw a bitching partay. Let me tell you about the guests she sat me with at the table. The guy to my left is a cheese licker, the girl to my right is theoretically a goth, er artist? I can’t tell. Next to the goth/artist is an old Knuckle head who has bad taste in porn. And I mean bad, like moldy feet. Next to the cheese licker is a nice lady whose favorite word is “sugga”. Stationed cross from us sits a dude who picks up only ugly transients and drives them home for fun. Next to him is a gal that loves approaching McDonalds full speed ahead. Then there is this Vanilla cake wanna be slut that thinks a toothbrush is an adult toy. Did I mention there is a chick who is wearing a pink bra with plants growing from her breasts? She likes to rub Miracle Grow on her tits. The guy on the far end digs big lipped celebrities and such, and he produces things for 2 dollars. There is also this one fellow who has 3 kids, divorced, but lives with his ex-wife? I think his nickname is minnow? Now how long would you stay married to a minnow?
I should have mingled with some of the other guests at the other tables, but I said to myself “Fcuk’em for now, I got my hands full with these freaks, I’ll wait for the New years partay”.
Thanks AB. I’m certainly appreciating the strategic table seating now!
Manuel on December 8th, 2007
She kept us apart! WTF!?!? You having a drink or twelve tonight?
blazngfyre on December 8th, 2007
We may be freaks (and we sooooo are) …. but you sure aren’t in any hurry to get away from us! lol
C’mon …. let’s PARTAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!
kate michele on December 8th, 2007
Hello.. nice to meet you. I’m not goth.. far from it.. at least i don’t think I am. huh. haha. Lets figure that out later… time to party…. you dance?
Jenny on December 8th, 2007
Oh are you STILL whining about my arrangement? Why would I put you next to someone you know? I know this requires you to use those social skills you’ve been hiding somewhere. Now get back there. Before I have to pull you back by your hair.
Upset Waitress on December 8th, 2007
Fuk manuel I’m on my 8th smack tonight. And it’s early.
Hah blazngfyre! Wanna be my fcuk buddy? Ahh I’m sooo smacked.
Upset Waitress on December 8th, 2007
Jenny you are a genuis. I thought I thanked you, in an odd sort of way. Thank you for forcing people to cooperate with me! :))))
Jenny on December 8th, 2007
Hee - thanks, btw for the offer for the cookbook. I may take you up on it.
Upset Waitress on December 8th, 2007
It’s not a cookbook Jenny. It’s a gently read UPDATED version of “Kitchen Confidential”. The author clearly looks down on us “waitrons” and upsells the “chefs” in this so called fiction. Anthony Bourdain is clearly a priviliged prick with a past drug habit. Lucky him. Please do take me up on the offer. It’s a good read for someone not in business. That’s the least I can do.
Umm whatcha doing for New Years Eve?
Jenny on December 8th, 2007
BTW - I love that you put Old K. in your picture.
cookbook - crap! No, you’re right. The book.
Thanks - he’s an arse.
Upset Waitress on December 8th, 2007
Ahaha you noticed that? You are witty.
He’s a butt fark!
Gypsy on December 8th, 2007
I love my table mates but I think I might hang with the freaks for a while and see if I can pick up any bad habits.
Jenny on December 8th, 2007
butt fark.
That’s priceless.
Aunty Belle on December 9th, 2007
Very clever, Darlin’….I ain’t had Anonymous Boxer’s (jenny??) permission to table hop yet, but, since she’s tidying up after some of her more, ah exuberant guests, I thought I sneak over and say howdy-do. Ya coulda been net to the Jerrster whose quite an entertainer….or had to compete wif Gypsy ROse Red all night.
Sorry about the cook and the unique ornaments—
I ain’t figgered how Jenny is goona top this fete wif anything better fer New Year’s…wasn’t this a frabjous weekend?
havingmycake on December 9th, 2007
Et tu Gypsy!!!!
LMAO, And after I brought my toys as well. One day, Upset Waitress will be thanking AB on her knees for sitting me on her table so I could introduce her to the pleasures of the toothbrush