Holy Ornaments.
Yesterday, the cook lost his car again. Last time he lost it, it was found out front of the American embassy in Carracas. About Ten minutes after two, he asked “Shay. Can an ooo oooooo ooooooou vigiv me eezes a r rr lisft zute worts. I, not thinking of the consiquences, said, “Sure. Meet me at my hou…..se.” “DAMN IT!” He said, “Shanks a bot.” I hurried home to warn my neighbors. That evening the neighborhood was hoppin’. Everyone was putting their cars in the garage and all of the lawn jockeys away. About midnight things finally calmed down and everyone went to bed. The next morning I got up, made coffee and went out to get the newspaper. I noticed foot prints on the freshly fallen snow. I followed them to the Bedfords house across the street. “Shit!” We forgot the Bedfords were on vacation. No one took their life size nativity scene in and put it away. Suddenly, Six year old Suzzie Sanders screamed. I ran to see what was the matter. Then I saw the cook laying in the manger. His testicles were tattooed like Christmas ornaments. I know this, because he was buck naked and they were hanging over the side. I woke him up and took him to my house. I asked him why he slept in my neighbors Chistmas decorations instead of going home. He answered, “Because I lost my car.” “What does that have to do with it?”, I asked. He said, “I parked my car at home.” I wasn’t going to ask about his genitalia.
BDS on December 9th, 2007
I think the first thing I would have asked about was his genitalia, and I never say that about other guys. However, some situations - like this one - would require normal conversation to take a backseat to the real priorities of the day.
Jenny on December 9th, 2007
I can’t believe you and Old K can’t get along.
jerrster on December 9th, 2007
lovely story…sadly I can personally relate to far too much of it.
one must be very cautious about wearing short shorts in summer…no one can relate to ornaments that time of year.
Native Minnow on December 9th, 2007
I hate it when that happens.
walker on December 9th, 2007
LMAO!!!!!!!
It could have been worse.
Someone could have plugged in his tally wacker to see his Christmas lights flicker
Manuel on December 9th, 2007
You paint a lovely picture…..
Upset Waitress on December 9th, 2007
Thank you for the kind words Manuel!
Walker, two words. E-Stim.
Minnow, so do I, so do I.
Jerrster, Uggh, my father is guilty of wearing cut-off shorts minus the underwear. Fcuking gross.
Jenny, He’s fine, his porn sucks though. And reading some of his comments, I expected some vivid eye-candy.
BDS, the last thing you would want to do is to ask a drunk Mexican about his tamale.