Oooh I got another present today from one of our regular customers. It was wrapped nice, it felt heavy, it should be something good right? WRONG! I got home and tore open the present. A fcuking cereal bowl. “Are you kidding me?” Not just an ordinary cereal bowl either. This one was equipped with a permanent straw. It was filled with candy though, but not the good kinds. It was Peeps leftover from Easter and some sort of chocolates that resembled wrapped up poop. So I dumped out the candies hoping there was money or lottery tickets buried in there. Nothing.
This customer saw this bowl in the Dollar General and thought of me! Wow how nice! The .50 cents it cost for the gift would have been better then this piece of crap. Hell, one tiny tic-tac would’ve made a better gift. At least my breath would smell good for 2 seconds.
Overall, I rate this gift as useless. Well maybe not totally useless. I can use it as a used condom holder I guess. Actually, I got too many used condom holders. This shitty gift will look nice in the trash.
So fellow bloggers, what’s the most crappy present you’ve received? You can either make a post and I’ll link it up here, or you can simply type it up as a comment.
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21 Responses to ' Another Crappy Present. '
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on December 22nd, 2007 at 8:22 pm
After telling my Mother for YEARS I don’t like the smell of vanilla bath and body products, every Christmas I get presented with a large basket containing………. Vanilla scented CRAP! She isn’t old enough to have senility to fall back on as an excuse, so I guess she really just doesn’t care! Whoop Dee Do!
on December 22nd, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Blonde, It’s not senility. Nor is it that she doesn’t care. Your mother simply has bad taste and gives the same gifts to everyone every year. You can’t expect her to remember who does or does not like her crappy gifts. Cut your mom some slack Christmas is taxing on everyones nerves.
on December 22nd, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Mine isn’t the gift so much. I have a friend who constantly, every year, puts tract literature in every gift she gives me. Ack!
on December 23rd, 2007 at 1:10 am
Generally, I don’t get crap presents so I can’t share my festive discomforts with you.
Unless of course, you count those tacky greeting cards which come with flashing LEDs and musical jingles.
That bowl was fucking awful though. I just feel sorry for the plastic injection mould which was forced to create such an obscenity.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 1:50 am
A Chihuahua lamp – it was not kitchy. It was from a good friend, which made it even more crappy. And expensive AND impossible to return.
At least you can use the cereal bowl.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 2:23 am
a crotched tea towel.
from one of my patients.
I’ve still got the tea towel but I guess my nursing wasn’t so great. she died.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 6:33 am
My son received this: a day planner–with sections and pockets for everything. That the giver thought a college kid would use something like this is not a horrible stretch, so, okay. Only problem was, it was a planner for a year that had passed three years prior. I guess the giver thought he could re-write what he had done during his Junior year in high school.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 6:34 am
nursemyra, crotched? Haha, sorry that’s hilarious.
Jenny, you should gift the lamp to Paco. Let him have his way with it.
Qelqoth, come one. Nothing crappy? Not even Snowman poop?
Patrick, I would’ve drawn pentagrams all over it and returned it
I’m mean like that.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 6:36 am
RG, haharahta, your son wins shit gift so far!
on December 23rd, 2007 at 7:50 am
ferrari aftershave……..it was like rubbing toilet cleaner on myself…..i don’t even drive….
on December 23rd, 2007 at 10:57 am
I’ve thought of using it in the yard, putting it in the dog bed…. after this post I’m seriously thinking ebay.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 10:58 am
Hey, don’t pawn crap off on me, bitch.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Last year my mom gave me a sweatshirt. There was a trout and the words “Early Morning Rise” on the back, and the words “Live by the Rod, Die by the Rod” on the front. I’ve never worn it because of the gay innuendo.
A year or two before she gave my ex-wife lingerie, and I got to sit there* with her and her new boyfriend while she opened it. That was awesome!
*We’re still friends, so we try to spend Christmas mornings together so that we can both see the kids open their gifts.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 3:22 pm
Minnow that’s heavy duty super crappy gifts. They say it’s the thought
thoughtlessthat counts. Wonder what your mother was thinking?Paco, heel rat, heel.
Jenny, is the lamp worse than the sexy leg lamp from “Christmas Story” ?
Manuel, Sorry about that. I didn’t know what else to get you. I was torn between the aftershave, or a nude photo of Sinead O’Conner.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 7:59 pm
My mom likes to get me clothes. Sometimes it works out okay, and sometimes she gets me a red sleeveless top with glitter puked all over it. I did my very best neutral face when I opened it. She laughed. Thank George for gift receipts.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 8:13 pm
My MIL bought me jiffies once (they are like ballet slippers only worse) and a hideous silk scarf. What does she think I’m 90 or something?
on December 23rd, 2007 at 9:06 pm
ali, unless they are socks or underpants for a male, clothes are the worst gift. And to those who are gonna gift clothes, please do include the reciept!
Gypsy, sorry about cutting you off earlier. I had to deal with an upset waiter. Your presents sound like something that could be useful as an arts & craft project. I’m visioning a sling shot.
on December 23rd, 2007 at 9:40 pm
My brother always used to buy me 3 pairs of white cotton sports socks. He’s a cheapskate and I knew he got them for trade price so he wouldn’t have paid more then £3 for them. Then one year I found out he’d actually went and bought seconds (i.e. B-grade). How thoughtful. I can live with him spending a tenth of what I spend but not when I’m putting some thought into what I’m getting and he’s not.
Let’s just say words were said, then for his birthday mid-year I wrapped up the same 3 pairs of B-grade sports socks for him (which I’d kept since Christmas) and he now spends considerably more on my prezzie.
on December 24th, 2007 at 6:52 am
Heya Bender, so…..I shouldn’t give these socks to my boyfriend?
on December 30th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Framed photographs of the Giver and it’s family. Makes me wish I’d taken his drunken-whore wife’s up on that offer years ago. At least then there’d be a possibility one of the offspring would be intelligent and classy.
on December 30th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Henry, there’s still no reason you can’t get yer freak on especially if she’s a drunken whore right?