Leftover Candy Canes.
Just what exactly am I supposed to do with all these candy canes now? I’m not a baker so you won’t find me making peppermint brownies or candy cane popcorn balls. I can make a mean bowl of cereal though.
On Christmas Eve I broke my $2 dollar pair of sunglasses trying to step on my kids creepy gerbil. So I used the candy canes as a make-shift sunglass repair Kit.
I did a number on my ankle the other day kicking my old mans ass. I used the candy canes as a splint. Surprisingly they work very well. My feet never smelled so good.
I love to drink and margaritas are my fav. I was mixing up a toxic batch when Little Man took a candy cane and stirred my drink for me. It was fabulous. Thanks son! Now get back in your cage.
I never paint my toenails but I had to paint them because I can’t hide my one bad foot with a shoe, so I used the smaller candy canes as a toe spreader.
Blondefabulous on December 27th, 2007
Fossilized candy canes make for great cup hooks in your cupboards! Also, chop them into small pieces to refill your tic tac container if you are cheap like me! Or, hang them just out of reach of your child and watch him/her jump for hours on end as entertainment. Give to a lame midget for a cane. Whoopee!
Jenny on December 27th, 2007
I vote for the ankle splint. And for having your feet smell better. Not that I can tell, but still…..
and sorry about your ankle. I hope his ass looks worse.
Upset Waitress on December 27th, 2007
Blonde, clearly you’ve had more Christmas’ to have thought about this. Nice!
Jenny, this is not a democracy, you’re vote does not count. heratahaha I kill me.
moooooog35 on December 27th, 2007
I’ve never really had a foot fetish…but you make it all seem worthwhile.
Mmmmm…toe candy.
wait..wait…that’s lint.
Upset Waitress on December 27th, 2007
moooog, Mintoes, the fresh maker.
Native Minnow on December 27th, 2007
The only way I eat candy canes is if I use them to stir my hot chocolate. They melt for a nice cup of chocolate mint. Assuming, of course, that you don’t use the ones that have been hanging from your toes.
Gypsy on December 27th, 2007
I love how your mind works UW. I think I like the sunglasses the best but it might get a bit sticky in the hair. Lash out and buy yourself another $2 pair. You deserve it.
Sorry about your ankle. How come its not in a plaster cast?
Jenny on December 27th, 2007
ahaha - I hope your ankle still hurts.
No! I kill me.
Upset Waitress on December 27th, 2007
Minnow, I never thought of that. You are so domesticated for a guy. Will you be my yard bitch?
Gypsy, I didn’t actually break it. It’s a 3rd degree sprain. I refuse to use the boot (some hard plastic crap with too many velcro straps) they gave me, it’s way too ugly. I got some cool crutches too, but I drink too much to understand how they work.
Jenny, rahahah Bitch!
Native Minnow on December 27th, 2007
I can’t be your yard bitch until my back heals, but after that, sure. Wait, I’m not going to get flogged if the grass gets cut unevenly am I?
Upset Waitress on December 27th, 2007
Minnow, I have no grass. I need a weeder. Since your back is out you can be my bar bitch instead.
Native Minnow on December 27th, 2007
Agreed. Except, I don’t drink, so you’d have to tell me how to mix everything. That’d probably be a lot more annoying to you than just doing it yourself. How about I just feed you chocolates instead? That I can do.
manuel on December 27th, 2007
“I love to drink” - well that was a revelation…..hope you’re okay though….
Blondefabulous on December 27th, 2007
Crushed candy cane makes the lortabs go down easier! Whoo hoo!
nursemyra on December 28th, 2007
so original with the candy canes. all that talent and tits too….
havingmycake on December 28th, 2007
I never liked candy canes, so bad for your teeth but now I see all sorts of interesting alternative uses. I guess if Native Minnow was too slow with the next choccie, you could hook his wrist/neck to remind him. Happy New Year! x
Some Goofy Woman on December 28th, 2007
You’re so busted. You thought we wouldn’t notice those are not your toes? Those are your husband’s toes.
Because you said you painted your bad foot, which is your left. The pic was right. Besides, your feet are prettier than that, I can tell these things. Why am I going on about feet… again!! Gah!!
I hate being anal retentive sometimes.
-AD
Upset Waitress on December 28th, 2007
Minnow. that’s fair enough. I’m a whore for chocolates
Blonde, candy canes are much more interesting when taking morphine
Manuel, well the newer readers must be warned too.
nursemyra, I have peppermint tits now that my candy cane bra strap melted..
cake, that’s why I take out my teeth.
Goofy Woman, what are you saying? I have man feet?