Another Tricky Dick.
Political rant from a waitress….
As you know, this year is an election year. Once again the illusion of power falls to the people of the United States. We will pretend that our fate is in our hands and not that of the corporations and the liars running for office. How hard is it to find a candidate that can and will tell the truth? Impossible I know.
I want a candidate that will get up in front of the press and people and say “I never exhaled and I am going to raise your taxes if I have to. Who I fucuk and where is between me and my loved ones and none of your business. If gay people want to screw up their life by getting married, who cares, if they love each other”.
I want a president that is more concerned with medical care and housing for his or her citizens than how much the pharmaceutical companies pay them to keep innocuous herbs such as marijuana from competing with the drugs they are having doctors pimp at premium. Most of witch have more numerous and dangerous side effects than the disease or ailment has symptoms.
To make a long story short, until the people of this country get off their cell phones and out of the mall and actually stand up for themselves and stand up to system to effect a change that will benefit everyone, not just the one percent of well-to-dos, one dick is as good as the next. See you at the polls.
Mark on January 1st, 2008
“Most of witch have more numerous and dangerous side effects than the disease or ailment has symptoms.”
If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours…
I gotta tell you, any guy with a four-hour hard-on is about as dangerous a side-effect as it gets.
I’d be Public Enemy #1.
Upset Waitress on January 1st, 2008
Mark, any guy with a 4 hour hard-on can only last 1/4 of what it takes to satisfy me. Are you a lobbyist? You seem to be preoccupied with pricks!
Mark on January 1st, 2008
Actually, everyone else thinks I seem to be too preoccupied with tits and ass…
Restaurant Gal on January 1st, 2008
UW–You remind me of the evil side of me that only wishes she could be so, ahem, direct.
As for political stuff, hey I am a D.C. gal born and bred, so I know the lines uttered by every lobbyist, K Street lawyer, 20-something Hill staffer, 60-something association exec ever invented. Just vote. It actually does mean something, and then you can laugh at the lines.
Upset Waitress on January 1st, 2008
No no Mark, clearly this means you’re gay!
RG, You have been brain washed. Surely. Hah!
Mark on January 1st, 2008
“No no Mark, clearly this means you’re gay! :)”
I’m usually happy, yeah.
Especially when I’m having HETEROsexual relations…
Mark on January 1st, 2008
How did I get myself in such a preDICKament, anyway??
nursemyra on January 2nd, 2008
hey we just got rid of our prick of a prime minister. it’s not that difficult to do…..
LarryLily on January 2nd, 2008
The way I look at it, this election is a no-brainer. ANYONE we elect from the field of either party will be better than the f’ng moron we have there now, ANYONE.
But in the end, we are all like a person strapped over a barrell, hoping for a short one!
LOL
A side note, we always have chinese for new years day, and last night at the local chinese buffet place near us, the single guy behind us had paid for his tab in cash. The bill came to 11.75 and he left 12 bucks. As he is walking away the vietnamese waitress syas “Sir, here, take this” He says, take what. She says, Take this, your change. He says its her tip. She says, I dont need this, you need this more than I do. You can tell from her voice that she is pissed. He they says, Sorry, and reaches into his wallet and pulls out two more bucks to give her. After the incident, this waitress and a couple of others were cackling like banty roosters in their sing-song native language as she described in great detail how this rude guy left her a 25 cent tip.
My wife, a frontman of a houty touty Oakland restaurant many years ago, and a keen eye on good wait staff and bad, started out as a waitress in a diner. Hearing this going on, she was chuckling telling me when she was a waitress she once followed a guy out to the parking lot and threw the two penny tip a guy left.
I hope your tips are large, your smile adequate and your service, well, we will leave that one alone LOL
Have a great new year!
Blondefabulous on January 2nd, 2008
If we had an actual popular vote, I’d have more faith in our electoral office, but the electoral college makes that impossible. You are right that if one of these dumbasses would just say what they really feel instead of the PC babble they are always spouting, I’d vote for them in a heart beat…. but as it is, I will probably just close my eyes and check whatever box I land on. Like LarryLily said, anyone is better than the idiot we have now!
Tony on January 2nd, 2008
But nursemyra, you probably still have a constitutional process…like we used to. It’s interesting for me teaching about the causes of the American Revolution while seeing so much more restriction on freedom than the founders could have imagined.
moooooog35 on January 2nd, 2008
I had a four-hour erection.
I wrote a post about it.
Longest masturbatory evening of my life.
I’m still chafed.
I wish Bill Clinton was able to run again. Any guy who can hold office AND get blowjobs by a heavy hottie at the same time has my respect.
Native Minnow on January 2nd, 2008
On the bright side, at least ‘W’ can’t be elected again.
Upset Waitress on January 2nd, 2008
nursemyra, you didn’t get rid of your prime minister, they just put him in a position to do more damage.
LarryLily, Allow me correct you. Almost anyone. We could end up with the country of Cheney in office. Also, it’s good to see you start the new year with a healthy dose of vitamin lead and M.S.G.
Blonde, For being a college, it sure is full of stupid people. It is merely out dated. It was a very useful tool at it’s conception. Saying and doing are not the same thing. You vote like I drive.
Tony, Quit stalking on my site.:)
moooooog, <– I was wondering what that was. ELECTION we’re talking about ELECTIONS. Damn!
Minnow, Fucuking optimists.
renalfailure on January 2nd, 2008
I will only run for high political office if I have cancer. That way I can say whatever I want and when someone complains I can just say “Fuck you, I have cancer.”
Also, I want to campaign while carrying a baseball bat at all times. That way, when someone says something bad about me, I can go to their house and break their shit with it. Then I can throw money on the ground to pay for it, like Sonny Corleone in the beginning of The Godfather when he breaks that FBI guy’s camera.
Tony on January 2nd, 2008
if i can’t stalk why am i here?
manuel on January 2nd, 2008
It’s a case of Giant Douchebag v Giant turd…..and it’s the fucking same the world over…..
Jenny on January 2nd, 2008
Oh God Lord, I actually agree with you.
Ribeye of your Dreams on January 3rd, 2008
We’ll never get an “honest politician”, but it would be nice. As long as we don’t get another shrub like we have in there now, I think I can be happy.
RagingServer.com
Dennis on January 3rd, 2008
Wow! I mean, really…wow! Great rant, UW.
I never expec– oh…gotta go. My cell phone’s ringing. I’m supposed to meet a friend at the mall.
Peace,
- Dennis
www.donttipthewaiter.blogspot.com
Upset Waitress on January 3rd, 2008
Renal, So what your saying is Lil’Bush has cancer.
Tony, If you want to know why your here, you will have to ask Shirley McClain.
Manuel, That’s because we keep playing their game and not THE game.
Jenny, Could you tell us what Oh God Lord said, we might like to agree also.
Ribeye, Happiness is a state of mind the only one most common men can govern. That’s what the politicians rely on.
Dennis, Fine. Just go. Leave me here alone in the circular room with my stained blue dress. Go play with your friends “AT THE MALL”.
Jenny on January 3rd, 2008
my hands were shaking when I typed…. Oh, GOOD Lord.
Upset Waitress on January 3rd, 2008
Jenny, you’re hands were shaking? What were you doing? Were you petting a freezing cold Paco while typing?