I don’t like cats. I mean, I really hate cats. There are 3 of them that were left here by the previous tenets. They are all probably incested too. Anyway, I got to thinking, which got me into trouble. What can I do to the kitty cats that will make them move out?
I tried flushing this cat down the toilet. He didn’t cooperate at all. Not only that, he’s bigger than your average piece of crap and wouldn’t go down.
I taped this kitty cats tail to his head. He didn’t like this. Probably because he couldn’t get some good genital grooming done. After 17 hours I removed the duct tape. His ass really missed him because he’s still digging in. Even this didn’t make him vacate my trailer.
I stuck this kitty into my kid’s backpack and dropped them off in a dark, lonely, country back road. Six days later the little bastards came beating on my door. I wouldn’t have let them in but the police, child services, and animal control officials made me.
So, does anyone want a kitty cat? Can go to any kind of home. Good, bad, I don’t care. I will pack them into small boxes and pay the shipping. I don’t feed the cats so food and water is NOT included. I don’t know if they have rabies or not but I’m sure all the anti-freeze they drink is sure to have rid them of any parasites.
30 Responses to ' More Than One Way To Skin A Cat. '
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on January 18th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
… And I thought that I was the only one who despises icanhascheeseburger!
on January 18th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Doh! Woeful, we might feel the wrath of Manuel soon OOPS. He’s like a fur-burger lover. Crap, I forgot about him before making this post. Ahh well…Fcuk him if he can’t take a joke
on January 18th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
I think I can handle your pussy for you…
on January 18th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I was hoping to be the first, “so you are offering me your pussy” comment…oh well…
on January 19th, 2008 at 3:08 am
A black cat is good luck so think twice before giving him away. Your butt might double in size.
on January 19th, 2008 at 3:43 am
If only I could have critters, I would have you mail one to me in an instant
on January 19th, 2008 at 4:22 am
Gee, I hope that cat makes it through the weekend with you … LOL!
I had one a cat camp out on my doorway once and didn’t want to leave. Good thing wifey took care of it. Don’t worry, no harm was done to the poor critter
on January 19th, 2008 at 4:42 am
do you ship to australia?
http://nursemyra.wordpress.com/2008/01/15/show-me-your-pussy/
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:14 am
Poor pussy…..the furry one I mean. Yours is hairless if I remember correctly. I knew all the boys would zoom in on the pussy remarks so I thought if you can’t beat em, join em.
on January 19th, 2008 at 9:51 am
You know where the commenters were gonna go with this, didn’t you?
Not a cat guy at all – only dogs allowed around this homestead.
on January 19th, 2008 at 10:01 am
grrrrrherherherhahahaha! you might be my patron saint! songbirds twitter in love and appreciation
on January 19th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
i like cats. taste like chicken…
perhaps if the pantry at the restaurant runs low, there’s a happy solution for everyone?
on January 19th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Mark, I handle that just fine.
Tony, you have to be quicker than that!
Gorilla, I always wanted a honkey tonk ba-donk a donk.
Ali, I love mailing critters.
Nick, why not?
Nursey, yes but I have to vacuum pack them first.
Gypsy, but you can beat them, and noone will object. Or joining is what they had in mind.
bent, sick bastard.
she, your quite possibly the only person that would nominate me for saint-hood
daisy, I guess, but I would have to switch our menu to include more rice.
on January 19th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
Why not just give them to your drunk cook? But I wouldn’t be trying the daily special for the next few days.
on January 19th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
awh poor putty tat…….you ship ti Ireland? I’d love a pussy to call my own….
on January 19th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
uw baby, quick just ain’t my thing…if u know what i mean…
on January 19th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
RG, the drunken cook with a live critter isn’t a pretty thing. Let’s just say he wouldn’t be cooking it.
manuel, yes, but I would have to ship them in tupperware containers.
Tony, I know this. It’s ok though, I have a lot of fun with “slow” people.
on January 19th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
So you skin your cat, if I read gypsy right?
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
SoHoS, Haha. Well, yea. I hate carpet. I mean I really hate it. I like shiny things.
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
hmmm how to get rid of three furry black pussies…
Call your local shelter. They love pussy!
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
How can you be so cruel? Poor little kitty. Shameful Upset Waitress. Shameful.
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Palease jahooni, they attacked my stuffed turkey on the wall. It’s missing a tail feather now. I’m not the cruel one, the idiots that left them here in my care are the cruel ones! :>
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Wormbrain, wooo with a name like that I must check you out.
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
I agree!
on January 19th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I thought you were naturally hairless??
on January 19th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
For the most part!
on January 19th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Oh, well which is it, then??
I think I need a pic.
on January 22nd, 2008 at 9:15 am
That’s evil, and I think the whole duct tape thing was most evil. I love ya girl, but this is just wrong. No cookie for you and watch out for PETA.
on January 22nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Ribeye, the duct tape wasn’t bad, it was the hot wax he objected to. I’m a card carrying member of PETA too (People Eating Tasty Animals)
on January 25th, 2008 at 12:04 am
Lawd Lawd Lawd. I eat tasty animals, they’re cows and pigs and turkeys and chickins!