The French fry F you c k Up.
As with any restaurant, we run out of things and have to make special orders. This morning I received one such order. Only this one was special in the special table way. We had ordered eighty pounds of frozen French fries and six bags of parsnips. I was sent eight-hundred pounds of frozen French fries and a bag of one sick parsnip. I immediately called the vendor. I explained what had happened and they said not to worry about it just take what I had ordered and leave the rest on the truck. I walked outside to tell the driver. He was gone. There was a mountain of French fries and a now squished bag of one sick parsnip. Then, of coarse, there had to be one ding-dong in the bunch. “Is them French fries in them boxes?” “No!” I said, “Those are sardines. We put them in the boxes marked French fries so the seagulls won’t find out what we are really stocking the pantry with.” Ten hours later the truck returned. The driver asked me where the fries were. I told him that he had just parked in the large puddle of fry and that the bag of one sick parsnip had drifted on the tide and washed up on the shore of the handicapped parking space.
Blondefabulous on January 18th, 2008
Wow. French Fry F-up! Say that in it’s non-edited form 5 times fast!
Mark on January 18th, 2008
French Fry Fuck-up!French Fry Fuck-up!French Fry Fuck-up!French Fry Fuck-up!French Fry Fuck-up!
Drifted on the tide…
You are one funny woman.
Gorilla Bananas on January 18th, 2008
You eat parsnips in America? Well I never. I think the driver deserved a tip.
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
Blonde, I think Mark showed you! Hah.
Mark, you can’t ever pass up a challenge eh?
Gorilla, yes! We eat bananas too. We do all sorts of unmentionable things with various vegies.
BDS on January 18th, 2008
Who knew seagulls were so wily and intelligent? Not me. And I hope you nursed the sick parsnip back to health in an altruistic gesture of hope.
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
BDS, those gulls un-zip zippers and un-snap snaps until they get their loot. Don’t bother feeling sorry for the parsnip. Feel sorry for the unsuspecting vegetarian I’m going to feed it to.
Tony on January 18th, 2008
feel sorry for vegetarians? are you losing your edge UW?
Native Minnow on January 18th, 2008
I went to Einstein’s the other day, and they had run out of bagels. Which begs the question: How does a bagel shop run out of bagels?
Buffalo on January 18th, 2008
What is a parsnip and why would one want to eat it?
(Hey! A stupid comment is better than no comment. It allows everyone to feel superior when they leave a slightly less stupid comment and it inflates the the comment scoreboard.)
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
Tony, you’re right again.
Minnow, Good question. Maybe there was some sort of Jewish convention going on near the bagel shop?
Buffalo, It looks like a pale carrot. We use them to tease the vegetarians.
And no comment is as stupid as this post.
LBB on January 18th, 2008
All right. I know what french fries are. But what the eff is parsnip?
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
LBB, parsnips are a root vege. They look like a wan phallus.
daisyfae on January 18th, 2008
“One Sick Parsnip” - my new phrase of the day. is it anything like “One Tin Soldier”? (c’mon…. y’all know you LOVED that nasty song when you were teenie boppers…)
Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur on January 18th, 2008
This isn’t as funny as porking pork.
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
daisy, ermmm, do wha?????? I need an artist’s name.
Blackiswhite, what are you saying? You like porking pigs better?
Blackiswhite, Imperial Agent Provocateur on January 18th, 2008
Actually the “microwave safe” dildo remark was as about as priceless as it gets.
jahooni on January 18th, 2008
Hold on a minute. Parsnips? Is that the same as Devil’s Lettuce
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
Blackiswhite, that’s a different post..I think???
jahooni, yes, so hot it makes the devil sweat. Not to mention it looks like a phallus.
Woeful on January 18th, 2008
Whoa!! That’s a lot of carbs!
she on January 18th, 2008
hey thats my band’s name. “one sick parsnip”! its a metal band.
er, how are parsnips used if theres only one for a who restaurant? a food sculpture or something?
coming to jawja!!! ring me up! i will make you a cocktail.
she on January 18th, 2008
oh forgot: there may be less WTA’s here…i know i am from orlando. anyone who ever drove a camaro or wore a mullet has filtered down to that town. grrrerhahahaha
er…you dont have a mullet do you???
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
She, the parsnip was floating on the return puddle. Dam, Jawja? Is that how ya chant? Dam, it took me an hour to figure that one out sis! I looked like a tard pronouncing it too. So, I will fit right in?
See you in May!
Upset Waitress on January 18th, 2008
Woeful, does a puddle of fries count as carbs?
daisyfae on January 19th, 2008
From the original “Billy Jack”. Here it is… Worst. Pop. Song. Since. Time. Began….
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AM4ADoVc6TU