Lost Remote Control.
Where have all my buttons gone? I have looked everywhere. I searched under the couch and even under the cushions. I didn’t find my remote but I found a whole meal. There was a chicken wing, five peas, some garlic toast, a baby carrot, and for dessert, pudding. At least I think it was pudding. I even got a tip, 17 cents. I’ve looked in the dishwasher, but no remote. I didn’t see it in the freezer either. It wasn’t on the bathroom sink. I’ve looked behind pictures hanging on the walls. I have looked in my car, garage, and driveway. I left no stone unturned in the rock garden, field, and quarry. I searched in the bird house, doghouse, and cat house. I looked up the chimney, up the rose trellis, and up sixteen skirts. I have paddled in the pool, pond, and puddles. Still no remote. Where, oh where, could it be? finally out of desperation I went through Mr. Johnson’s underpants while he was still in them. My remote does absolutely everything. It turns on the T.V., DVD player, stereo, lights, ceiling fan, jaccuzzi, and much more. It must have been stolen, or kidnapped. I’m waiting for the ransom call. I’m prepared to pay almost a hundred pesos. I just need a time and place to drop the di nero. Whoever has my remote, please return it. I give up, I’ll never find it. It’s gone for ever. I,m going to cry. Ow! What the hell did I just sit on? Jubilation, happiness, and joy, I have found it. I found it. It was stuck to my ass with a red gummy bear. Now, what’s on the tube? The same thing that is now on the remote. SHIT!
USA_Admiral on January 19th, 2008
Looking up the 16 skirts cracked me up. That would be a record for me.
Thanks for the linkage Doll.
Upset Waitress on January 19th, 2008
USA, a record for ya? Slacker!
Blondefabulous on January 19th, 2008
I need me one of those,… but instead of the beer key it needs a vodka key!! Celiac’s took away my beer drinkin’ so now all I can have is the hard stuff, which apparently the sex key will take care of too!!
Mark on January 19th, 2008
There’s a female version out there too.
Has the tits feature.
Always thought it would be nice to adjust the sweater pups depending on what you wanted to do with them…
Woeful on January 20th, 2008
“I even got a tip, 17 cents.”
Sweet… LMAO!!
Nick Phillips on January 20th, 2008
Urmmm, do they by any chance have that remote on ebay?
nursemyra on January 20th, 2008
wish I could just call up a big dick by pressing a remote *sigh*
Gypsy on January 20th, 2008
Hey Nick if you find one can you get me one too?? Awesome!
azahar on January 20th, 2008
Seconding nursemyra’s comment - I wish!
Very funny remote … when I lost the one for my heater I eventually found in my black cat’s lair under the bed. That guy is such a little bandit.
Check out this cat burglar - he is really something else!
Simon
Buffalo on January 20th, 2008
I’m thinkin’ it was your marbles, not your buttons, that you misplaced. I could be wrong though.
Erik on January 20th, 2008
Were people in these skirts when you looked up them? You could get arrested for that
walker on January 20th, 2008
I lost a red gummy.
Did it have one eye and did say rewind one the back on the back?
Gorilla Bananas on January 20th, 2008
I think you should keep it in holster attached to the inside of your right thigh. I’m guessing you’ve already got something on your left thigh.
Upset Waitress on January 20th, 2008
Blonde, these remotes are customized at the factory.
Mark, your assuming someone would let you do something with them. Silly boy!
Woeful, I’m the funniest person I know
Nick, no it’s a special order form Sweden.
Nursey, spreading your legs on a street corner works just as well.
Gypsy, am I even here sis? It’s all about Nick?
azahar, need to teach that pussy of yours some manners!
Buffalo, I didn’t lose all my marbles, I still have all my aggies and shooters.
Erik, I’ve benn arrested for a lot less. Any chance to get into hand-cuffs.
walker, so that was you last Tuesday night???
Gorilla, yes and I can’t get it off with turpentine.
manuel on January 20th, 2008
I shit you not I’ve been searching for my remote for an hour now…..going fucking mental…..
Upset Waitress on January 20th, 2008
manuel, check in your ass next to the ham sandwich.
Dennis on January 21st, 2008
Wow! You own a quarry?
manuel on January 21st, 2008
Ha! 24 hours later and I still couldn’t find it….the girlfriend walks in and puts her hand right on it……and the remote
Upset Waitress on January 21st, 2008
Dennis, yes, and a garden gnome factory in Alaska
manuel, next time try opening your eyes.
Ribeye of your Dreams on January 25th, 2008
I must have the remote in the picture…for…personal reasons..
RagingServer.com