Here’s the link to the videos of Gene Simons dorking an itty bitty teeny weenie blonde bimbo Go ahead and put on your exam gloves and watch it, I’ll wait.
Now that you’re back, what did you think? I figured It was about time I posted something to gross you all out.
Anyway, that fat old fucker claims to have bumped nasties with over 4,500 women and apparently, by watching this video, he didn’t learn a damned thing. You think he could do something besides missionary fucking? Talk about boring. No slapping of the ass? No titty pinching? No fist fucking. Not one whip or chain. There are no dildos or French ticklers, peanut butter or puppies. However, the most disappointing thing of all there was no pussy munching. You would think with a tongue like his he would and could lick her juicy twat from three feet away. Not only does he suck at sex, I can’t say much for his video making skills. I guess I should have expected as much after seeing the music videos that Kiss had on Mtv. One last thing to remember. The bigger the tongue, the smaller the penis.
35 Responses to ' Kiss Me Not. '
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on February 24th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
No sneezing in the cabbage?! For shame, Gene! For shame!
on February 24th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
I’m glad I have a smallish tongue. But it still knows where to go…
on February 24th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
I was gonna say his tongue is bigger than his dick but Mark beat me to it. Well at least we all know he sucks in bed.
on February 24th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Qelqoth, If you sneeze in the cabbage, then you are obliged to toss the salad.
Mark, Would your wife agree with that statement?
Becky, I didn’t see him do any sucking.
***Did any of you read my post? Or did you just go to the link and watch the videos Heha. Be honest!***
on February 24th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
I always wanted to sit back, all cool like, and lick my eyebrows instead of coming up with some bullshit pick up line. Unfortunately I could barely lick my lips.
on February 24th, 2008 at 11:27 pm
worlds. worst. sex video.
hell, i’ll go a step further…
worlds. worst. sex.
this is some boring shit… had promise because the little stick girl could have been a spinner, but she kept her fucking flip flops on, for cryin’ out loud! spikey ‘come fuck me’ shoes? yes? kiddie sandals? ick…
two yawning thumbs down…
on February 24th, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Mark, Would your wife agree with that statement?
Yes. Along with quite a few other women. Of whom she is quite aware.
Did any of you read my post? Or did you just go to the link and watch the videos Heha. Be honest!
Both, else how would I have known it was good to brag about a smallish tongue?
;o)>
on February 25th, 2008 at 12:24 am
I have to agree with Daisy about the shoes. It was the first thing I noticed which doesn’t really say much for this as a sex tape. What a waste of a tongue although that’s the only good thing about him. You’d think a Rock God would have a bit more of a clue after years and years of banging groupies wouldn’t ya?
on February 25th, 2008 at 12:30 am
He cheats on his wife? wha? no way.
on February 25th, 2008 at 2:19 am
The Foreigner sound track does it for me. Way to go there Dr. Love!
on February 25th, 2008 at 2:33 am
Wow
He could count?
on February 25th, 2008 at 3:19 am
That man has lost all his dance skills and grown fat with age. I’ll never be able to watch Singin’ in the Rain again without sadness.
on February 25th, 2008 at 3:31 am
I was mesmerised by the airbags on her chest and the weird shoes.
and he still had his pants round his ankles. the whole thing was just sad.
not to mention the music in the background…..
on February 25th, 2008 at 7:38 am
Puhlease. I don’t just read your posts – I usually fap off to them as well. Except this time because Gene Simmons is one repulsive motherfucker.
on February 25th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Personally, I think the whole thing was a shitty set-up for his show.
The tape itself is boring, and if you notice, the girl was NOT into it …. AT ALL! She kepy her FLIP-FLOPS on (for most of it)!
Plus, Gene looked over at either a monitor or a person TWICE during the whole “event”.
I hope Shannon leaves his stupid ass.
But, she won’t …. she likes his $$ too much.
on February 25th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Thanks for not getting mad when I posted your pic today. Does that mean I can post our video too?
Missionary is probably the only thing Simmons can pull-off as he has a case of permanent whiskey-dick. The visually interesting fucucking techniques (I.E. Reverse Cowgirl) require a penis that can defy gravity and friction.
on February 25th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Dammit ! Thanks ALOT ! I vowed I wasn’t going to watch that. I wish I had stuck to my word.
on February 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am
There is no reason on earth why anyone of us should tape ourselves having sex. None. Unless you got a budget and quality equipment, just leave it to the professionals, ‘kay?
And if yer gonna go ahead and do it, for god’s sake, wear some decent ass shoes.
on February 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Yeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
on February 25th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I can’t stand Gene Simmons and even the lure of sex can’t make me click that link. Just imagining the scene is nasty-assty enough for me to opine without viewing.
Moi… I gotta disagree with ya there. I find it to be a huge compliment when my guy desires to watch me on DVD if I’m not available for pleasure in person. Although it’s rare that couples can make quality movies, it’s not impossible. The difference between a good and bad movie is just like with anything else.. it’s the know how. No, not the knowledge of good sex it’s more with the knowledge of production.
The most important fact about a sex movie … Turning the cam on and having sex makes a bad movie.
Anyway, Eww… on the Simons sex just eww…eww..eww, lol
on February 25th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
why is he wearing clothes?
on February 25th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Didn’t look at the video ’cause there’s some stuff I don’t need to see. Having said that, women don’t have sex with Gene Simmons because he’s any good at it. They have sex with him to say they’ve had sex with Gene Simmons.
on February 25th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Whoa, lame stuff. He should have left his platform boots on… and where was the fire breathing and blood dripping! And where were Paul and Ace? What’s happened to the guy? I’ll definitely think again before spinning Kiss Alive on the tables!
on February 25th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Whatever. He figures just getting a lil Gene in ya is enough??? She should have smacked him upside the head and told him to get busy.
on February 25th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
pussy M*nching is one of life’s great pleasures how can you not do that????>>>:))))
on February 25th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
that was just so so awful…….Foreigner? O sweet Jesus……Crazy Crazy nights indeed…..
on February 25th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
I already saw it. That said I still think “One Night in Paris” is the worst porno ever. At one point while ol’ Rick was pounding away I swear that she fell asleep… I even had my friend fast forward the tape and she didn’t seem to move.
on February 25th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I watched it and he sucks. He can’t even fuck right. Drag him off and shoot him.
on February 25th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Buffalo, You should move your lips closer to your mouth.
Daisy, I agree flip flops are so inappropriate for making a sex video.
Mark, I wouldn’t think having smallish anything would be something to brag about.
Gypsy, The psycotropic drugs made his groupies forget that he was awful in bed. Conversely made him believe he was good.
Pajama, It’s O.K. because his wife was out with someone who knows how to please a woman.
Wil, I bet that girl wishes she was with a foreigner.
Walker, NO, someone added it up for him.
Gorilla, You lost me. What does he have in common with Fred Astaire.
Nursemyra, Please don’t mention the background music. I have spent a decade and a half trying to forget the eighties.
Qelqoth, You must have one sticky keyboard.
Blazngfyre, No one could get in to sex with him.
Troll, The only thing his dick defies is belief.
Heff, You know you liked it. Right up until you vomited.
Moi, I don’t know about that. I often make poor quality sex films and send them to family members as birthday gifts. That way I don’t get invited to the reunions.
Axey, You said a mouth full. Which is more than that poor girl got.
Anna, Open it. I dare you.
Jenny, Would you really want to see him nude?
Folly, Only the dumb ones.
Beaverboosh, Paul and Ace were working the camera.
Catscratch, She was probably just waiting for him to get off of her so she could go puke.
Robert, It’s a must in my bedroom.
Manuel, Imagine how awful it was for that poor girl.
on February 25th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
Woeful, Like every day, she was in a self induced coma.
Becky, I think the point is…He doesn’t “suck”. He doesn’t do anything. I wouldn’t even waste a bullet on him.
on February 26th, 2008 at 4:13 am
Ok, now that didn’t help my runny nose one goddamned bit! LOL!
on February 26th, 2008 at 7:46 am
That didn’t do anything for me. Try harder Gene!!
on February 26th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Wow, even with my bad back I’d be a better lay than Gene Simmons.
on February 26th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Nick, That’s too bad, because it really stunk.
Dan, It didn’t do anything for that girl either.
Minnow, Roadkill would be a better lay.
on February 27th, 2008 at 12:31 am
“Mark, I wouldn’t think having smallish anything would be something to brag about.”
Well, I was given to understand the choice was a small dick or a small tongue. I sure as hell couldn’t brag about the former.