BBQ Grillz.
Does this punk remind you of a robot? This guy isn’t wearing braces. He is wearing what they call “Grillz” and they cost about 10 government checks…depending on how many kids you don’t support. Like solar panels, I think they harness energy from the sun. And in sub zero weather your tongue will stick to them, which will make it impossible to take Akavar. Also after every meal you have to rinse your mouth out with jewelry cleaner.
Anyway, poor people need “Grillz” too. Simply cover your hideous teeth up with tin foil or scrap metal. Of course you would want to look rich so glue on some glitter or shiny beads.
It is important to remember that if you have Grillz, you have to wear pants five times your size so that when you are running from the cops after the crack sale you just made, your boxer shorts can clearly be seen. You must also speak as ignorantly as you look. If that is even possible. Now what most people won’t tell you, is Grillz are incredibly bad for your teeth. You should save yourself some time and money and go down to the local bar and insult someone three times your size. They will be more than happy to smash you in the mouth with a pool stick, which will give you the same result as wearing Grillz. If that isn’t your cup of tea, rinse your mouth out with sulfuric acid, or eat one of our specials. I suppose I’ll never understand the purpose of metal on your teeth as ornaments. Unless your friends and family are going to sing carols and put presents under your face.
Vanessa on February 25th, 2008
Them some shiny grillz!
Woeful on February 26th, 2008
… I’ve seen the model, it’s a douchebot.
nursemyra on February 26th, 2008
didn’t jessica simpson go the grillz route at some awards thing last year…?
Skippy Van Wigger on February 26th, 2008
Yo, don’t be hatings on my peeps, yo.
Native Minnow on February 26th, 2008
Guys who get grillz are douchebags.
moi on February 26th, 2008
Just what you need to go with your new veggie-based cholesterol diet. Nothing says über cool like broccoli entwined in da grillz!
daisyfae on February 26th, 2008
i think this is an important fashion trend for women… the jewel-encrusted variety in particular.
you know, diamonds are a grillz best friend…
Jenny on February 26th, 2008
how do you floss with these?
upset waitress on February 26th, 2008
Vanessa, I is blind.
Woeful, For when you have that not so fresh feeling.
Nursemyra, I wouldn’t know. I try not to pay attention to that kind of stuff.
Skippy, Tell them not to make so easy to hate them.
Minnow, Douche bags are smarter.
Moi, Also good for catching bugs while riding your crotch rocket.
Daisy, That’s one way to ensure no one will ask you for oral sex.
Jenny, With a Brillo pad.
Gorilla Bananas on February 26th, 2008
They look like dilithium crystals. Warp drive in the mouth gives Scotty a great blowjob.
Folly on February 26th, 2008
And it’s always some damn middle-class white kid whose parents have more money than common sense.
jahooni on February 26th, 2008
I have braces. that alone is sad enough at 35!!!!
everytime i see a white chic or guy doing shit like this makes bile come up my throat! ;0
robert bourne on February 26th, 2008
Thankyou for the rant..I was running out of breath.. :))))It just grate on my nerves when I see this stuff…
she on February 26th, 2008
grrrrherhahaha just like solar panels! good one. if only they could power the mind of the wearer!!
Gypsy on February 26th, 2008
That was hilarious as were a lot of the comments. I’m not even going to TRY to be funny after all that so just popped in to tell you I have a pressie at my place for ya. Don’t say I never give you anything.
How’s the gym going?
Blackiswhite, Imperial AgentProvocateur on February 26th, 2008
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
And on the heels of yesterday’s post which made me throw up in my mouth a little.
People are stupid fricking herd animals.
Jay on February 26th, 2008
….and this is why I like you.
catscratch diva on February 27th, 2008
You’re adorable.
Heff on February 28th, 2008
I don’t care how bad someone’s teeth are, grills look like shit. On EVERYONE.
upset waitress on February 28th, 2008
Gorilla, Me and God are watching Scotty grow.
Folly, That describes two thirds of the kids in America.
Jahooni, You should glue some rhinestones and glitter onto your braces so that you will be in style. Oh, and eat a tic-tac so we don’t have to smell your gall bladder breath.
Robert B., Try closing your eyes.
She, You can’t power air unless you fart.
Gypsy, I’ll take almost anything you’ll give me except for STDs.
Blackiswhite, The only herd animals they won’t let us eat. Unless it is in a fun spanky way.
Jay, Really? I thought you like me for my money.
Catscratch, Thanks. I was Nermal in my former life.
Heff, Unless your a Ford.
Griffin3 on March 1st, 2008
Didn’t I see these in an old James Bond movie?
jenn on May 19th, 2008
I LIKE FRONTS “AKA GRILLZ” SOO YEAH THEY LOOK CUTE EVEN THO SUM LOOK TACCY BUT YEAH …. TIN FOIL MUH BUT LOL