Does this punk remind you of a robot? This guy isn’t wearing braces. He is wearing what they call “Grillz” and they cost about 10 government checks…depending on how many kids you don’t support. Like solar panels, I think they harness energy from the sun. And in sub zero weather your tongue will stick to them. Also after every meal you have to rinse your mouth out with jewelry cleaner.
Anyway, poor people need “Grillz” too. Simply cover your hideous teeth up with tin foil or scrap metal. Of course you would want to look rich so glue on some glitter or shiny beads.
It is important to remember that if you have Grillz, you have to wear pants five times your size so that when you are running from the cops after the crack sale you just made, your boxer shorts can clearly be seen. You must also speak as ignorantly as you look. If that is even possible. Now what most people won’t tell you, is Grillz are incredibly bad for your teeth. You should save yourself some time and money and go down to the local bar and insult someone three times your size. They will be more than happy to smash you in the mouth with a pool stick, which will give you the same result as wearing Grillz. If that isn’t your cup of tea, rinse your mouth out with sulfuric acid, or eat one of our specials. I suppose I’ll never understand the purpose of metal on your teeth as ornaments. Unless your friends and family are going to sing carols and put presents under your face.
on February 25th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
Them some shiny grillz!
on February 26th, 2008 at 12:38 am
… I’ve seen the model, it’s a douchebot.
on February 26th, 2008 at 3:41 am
didn’t jessica simpson go the grillz route at some awards thing last year…?
on February 26th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Yo, don’t be hatings on my peeps, yo.
on February 26th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Guys who get grillz are douchebags.
on February 26th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Just what you need to go with your new veggie-based cholesterol diet. Nothing says über cool like broccoli entwined in da grillz!
on February 26th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
i think this is an important fashion trend for women… the jewel-encrusted variety in particular.
you know, diamonds are a grillz best friend…
on February 26th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
how do you floss with these?
on February 26th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Vanessa, I is blind.
Woeful, For when you have that not so fresh feeling.
Nursemyra, I wouldn’t know. I try not to pay attention to that kind of stuff.
Skippy, Tell them not to make so easy to hate them.
Minnow, Douche bags are smarter.
Moi, Also good for catching bugs while riding your crotch rocket.
Daisy, That’s one way to ensure no one will ask you for oral sex.
Jenny, With a Brillo pad.
on February 26th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
They look like dilithium crystals. Warp drive in the mouth gives Scotty a great blowjob.
on February 26th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
And it’s always some damn middle-class white kid whose parents have more money than common sense.
on February 26th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
I have braces. that alone is sad enough at 35!!!!
everytime i see a white chic or guy doing shit like this makes bile come up my throat! ;0
on February 26th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Thankyou for the rant..I was running out of breath..
)))It just grate on my nerves when I see this stuff…
on February 26th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
grrrrherhahaha just like solar panels! good one. if only they could power the mind of the wearer!!
on February 26th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
That was hilarious as were a lot of the comments. I’m not even going to TRY to be funny after all that so just popped in to tell you I have a pressie at my place for ya. Don’t say I never give you anything.
How’s the gym going?
on February 26th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Dumb, dumb, dumb.
And on the heels of yesterday’s post which made me throw up in my mouth a little.
People are stupid fricking herd animals.
on February 26th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
….and this is why I like you.
on February 27th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
You’re adorable.
on February 28th, 2008 at 9:46 am
I don’t care how bad someone’s teeth are, grills look like shit. On EVERYONE.
on February 28th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Gorilla, Me and God are watching Scotty grow.
Folly, That describes two thirds of the kids in America.
Jahooni, You should glue some rhinestones and glitter onto your braces so that you will be in style. Oh, and eat a tic-tac so we don’t have to smell your gall bladder breath.
Robert B., Try closing your eyes.
She, You can’t power air unless you fart.
Gypsy, I’ll take almost anything you’ll give me except for STDs.
Blackiswhite, The only herd animals they won’t let us eat. Unless it is in a fun spanky way.
Jay, Really? I thought you like me for my money.
Catscratch, Thanks. I was Nermal in my former life.
Heff, Unless your a Ford.
on March 1st, 2008 at 9:56 am
Didn’t I see these in an old James Bond movie?
on May 19th, 2008 at 12:29 am
I LIKE FRONTS “AKA GRILLZ” SOO YEAH THEY LOOK CUTE EVEN THO SUM LOOK TACCY BUT YEAH …. TIN FOIL MUH BUT LOL