I got a new toy. No, not that kind of toy. This toy is rated E. It will fit in your mouth but you can’t eat it. It is user friendly and host specific. It comes in the same colors as Mentos. It’s unscented. It’s made of titanium. It has to be softly fingered. It plays games but it is not a game system. You can’t receive or make calls on it. It doesn’t vibrate. Although, it may make your butt jiggle. Most everyone has one, had one, or wants one. It doesn’t need any special care or feeding. You shouldn’t get it wet. There are no fancy frills. Just simplicity at it’s best. It cost more than I had, but less than a night out. I take it everywhere, and no one knows I have it. No it’s not a stealth bomber.
Okay, whoever guesses correctly wins a prize. I’m being very serious when I say the winner will receive a piece of crap I’m getting ready to throw out. Did I just type that? Anyway, the winner will receive one or all of the following PRIZES:
1.)A kitten in a box.
2.)A bumper sticker that says “Monica Lewinsky’s Ex-Boyfriend’s Wife For President”
3.)A not so gently used waitresses apron with one working pocket.
OK, I’m looking forward to your guesses.
30 Responses to ' Guess What I Got. '
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on February 28th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
this is going to bug the shit out of me until I figure it out or you fess up….:))))
on February 28th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
ps does the waitress come with the aron..just wondered…:)))
on February 28th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Ohhh you didn’t even guess Robert. C’mon, take a guess.
on February 28th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Made of titanium? Titanium is an expensive metal… I used to own a Nikon F3 Titanium when I was a photojournalist.
The only thing I can think of that fits the description you provide, is a ring my precious. Is my guess correct?
on February 28th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Nope Woeful. Maybe it’s not made of Titanium, but it’s some sort of space age metal. I just like that word, Titanium. It makes me feel smart
on February 28th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
It’s an iPod.
on February 28th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
i agree with Mark – but i’ll be more specific because i really want a kitten in a box: it’s an iPod nano!
on February 28th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
An iPhone. Ok, that’s what I want.
I still say iPhone.
on February 28th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Sounds like an Ipood. I’d rather have more pics of you in your favorite chair, please.
on February 29th, 2008 at 12:06 am
fuck off mark…it’s an ipod…love you mark. I mean it! I really love you mark…
on February 29th, 2008 at 12:18 am
If you submerge it in Diet Coke does it do the Mentos explosive thing? If it’s made by Apple, it’s ghey and I don’t want it or the crappy prizes. Apple sucks!
on February 29th, 2008 at 1:44 am
I think iPod too. And they are SO seductive!
on February 29th, 2008 at 2:08 am
It has to be a titanium figurine of Hayden Christensen. Probably acts as well as him, too. Incidentally, are we talking about a Schrödinger kitten here?
on February 29th, 2008 at 2:22 am
I don’t want those prizes, so I’m guessing it’s either a butt plug or a nipple clamp.
on February 29th, 2008 at 2:57 am
a schrodinger kitten! oh well done kyknoord. give him a prize anyway, UW
on February 29th, 2008 at 5:34 am
Lets talk cash, then I’ll start guessing.
on February 29th, 2008 at 7:14 am
agreed – kyknoord can have my kitten, if i win. but first we have to calculate where it is…this could take awhile. poke another airhole and push in some more lettuce.
on February 29th, 2008 at 7:41 am
fuck off mark…it’s an ipod…love you mark. I mean it! I really love you mark…
Aw, how sweet.
Everyone hates me because I guessed right first.
That IS the reason, right?
RIGHT???
on February 29th, 2008 at 8:38 am
It’s a new waitress pen.
on February 29th, 2008 at 9:01 am
So far only one person has won
on February 29th, 2008 at 9:07 am
BTW, Kynkword, Myra, and Daisy, are nerds. I just know these things.
on February 29th, 2008 at 9:37 am
It’s one of those astronaut pens that you can write upside down without the ink running out.
on February 29th, 2008 at 10:24 am
You’ve found it!
My erector-set mechanical vagina.
Thank you, so much.
Please send it back to me. This one made out of Lincoln Logs is giving me splinters.
on February 29th, 2008 at 11:31 am
I was gonna guess Ipod or Blackberry, but I logged in after others had already answered.
on February 29th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Hell, I don’t know. Besides, you said someone already won.
on February 29th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
nerd? well I’m in great company. long live the nerds.
and the nerds’ pussies
on February 29th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
you’re just jealous… i PWN your waitress ass! wanna play warcraft later? i’ve written some code that will insert our South Park avatars…
on February 29th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Ipod Nano
on February 29th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I’m scared to even ask.
on March 1st, 2008 at 12:21 am
[doing obnoxious nerd victory dance - involving slide rule, vintage Atari Pong controller and a chest toupee]
woo hoo! hey kids! guess what? momma’s gonna be able to make you a real supper this week! is there any more of that Kitten Helper in the storm cellar?