Guess What I Got.
I got a new toy. No Moooooog35, not that kind of toy. This toy is rated E. It will fit in your mouth but you can’t eat it. It is user friendly and host specific. It comes in the same colors as Mentos. It’s unscented. It’s made of titanium. It has to be softly fingered. It plays games but it is not a game system. You can’t receive or make calls on it. It doesn’t vibrate. Although, it may make your butt jiggle. Most everyone has one, had one, or wants one. It doesn’t need any special care or feeding. You shouldn’t get it wet. There are no fancy frills. Just simplicity at it’s best. It cost more than I had, but less than a night out. I take it everywhere, and no one knows I have it. No it’s not a stealth bomber.
Okay, whoever guesses correctly wins a prize. I’m being very serious when I say the winner will receive a piece of crap I’m getting ready to throw out. Did I just type that? Anyway, the winner will receive one or all of the following PRIZES:
1.)A kitten in a box.
2.)A bumper sticker that says “Monica Lewinsky’s Ex-Boyfriend’s Wife For President”
3.)A not so gently used waitresses apron with one working pocket.
OK, I’m looking forward to your guesses.
robert bourne on February 28th, 2008
this is going to bug the shit out of me until I figure it out or you fess up….:))))
robert bourne on February 28th, 2008
ps does the waitress come with the aron..just wondered…:)))
Upset Waitress on February 28th, 2008
Ohhh you didn’t even guess Robert. C’mon, take a guess.
Woeful on February 28th, 2008
Made of titanium? Titanium is an expensive metal… I used to own a Nikon F3 Titanium when I was a photojournalist.
The only thing I can think of that fits the description you provide, is a ring my precious. Is my guess correct?
Upset Waitress on February 28th, 2008
Nope Woeful. Maybe it’s not made of Titanium, but it’s some sort of space age metal. I just like that word, Titanium. It makes me feel smart
Mark on February 28th, 2008
It’s an iPod.
daisyfae on February 28th, 2008
i agree with Mark - but i’ll be more specific because i really want a kitten in a box: it’s an iPod nano!
Jenny on February 28th, 2008
An iPhone. Ok, that’s what I want.
I still say iPhone.
Blackiswhite, Imperial AgentProvocateur on February 28th, 2008
Sounds like an Ipood. I’d rather have more pics of you in your favorite chair, please.
SoHoS on February 29th, 2008
fuck off mark…it’s an ipod…love you mark. I mean it! I really love you mark…
Fuck Apple on February 29th, 2008
If you submerge it in Diet Coke does it do the Mentos explosive thing? If it’s made by Apple, it’s ghey and I don’t want it or the crappy prizes. Apple sucks!
Vanessa on February 29th, 2008
I think iPod too. And they are SO seductive!
kyknoord on February 29th, 2008
It has to be a titanium figurine of Hayden Christensen. Probably acts as well as him, too. Incidentally, are we talking about a Schrödinger kitten here?
Gorilla Bananas on February 29th, 2008
I don’t want those prizes, so I’m guessing it’s either a butt plug or a nipple clamp.
nursemyra on February 29th, 2008
a schrodinger kitten! oh well done kyknoord. give him a prize anyway, UW
Gypsy on February 29th, 2008
Lets talk cash, then I’ll start guessing.
daisyfae on February 29th, 2008
agreed - kyknoord can have my kitten, if i win. but first we have to calculate where it is…this could take awhile. poke another airhole and push in some more lettuce.
Mark on February 29th, 2008
fuck off mark…it’s an ipod…love you mark. I mean it! I really love you mark…
Aw, how sweet.
Everyone hates me because I guessed right first.
That IS the reason, right?
RIGHT???
Axey on February 29th, 2008
It’s a new waitress pen.
Upset Waitress on February 29th, 2008
So far only one person has won
Upset Waitress on February 29th, 2008
BTW, Kynkword, Myra, and Daisy, are nerds. I just know these things.
BDS on February 29th, 2008
It’s one of those astronaut pens that you can write upside down without the ink running out.
moooooog35 on February 29th, 2008
You’ve found it!
My erector-set mechanical vagina.
Thank you, so much.
Please send it back to me. This one made out of Lincoln Logs is giving me splinters.
Heff on February 29th, 2008
I was gonna guess Ipod or Blackberry, but I logged in after others had already answered.
Folly on February 29th, 2008
Hell, I don’t know. Besides, you said someone already won.
nursemyra on February 29th, 2008
nerd? well I’m in great company. long live the nerds.
and the nerds’ pussies
daisyfae on February 29th, 2008
you’re just jealous… i PWN your waitress ass! wanna play warcraft later? i’ve written some code that will insert our South Park avatars…
Fuck Apple on February 29th, 2008
Ipod Nano
Catscratch Diva on February 29th, 2008
I’m scared to even ask.
daisyfae on March 1st, 2008
[doing obnoxious nerd victory dance - involving slide rule, vintage Atari Pong controller and a chest toupee]
woo hoo! hey kids! guess what? momma’s gonna be able to make you a real supper this week! is there any more of that Kitten Helper in the storm cellar?