Tossing My Salad.
I like to toss salad anytime I have a dinner party. Tossing salad is so simple, I can do it with my eyes closed. If you have big parties like I do, make sure you have something extra deep to hold all the stuff, like a Johnston and Murphy suitcase. Let’s begin.
The key to a successful tossed salad is to make sure everything is very clean. Start by tearing up two or three heads real good. Choose only the freshest of fruits. Lightly begin by fluffing the salad. To make the salad tossing process easier just add a bit of tasty oil. It helps everything so it doesn’t stick together. Apply it smoothly and evenly with a nice coat. Continue tossing the salad at a faster pace and include some nuts for added texture. I prefer small nuts. They fit in my mouth so snugly, so that I look like a cute little chipmunk. Tossing the salad faster now, add some bruises to the fruit, for some color. Now, slowly bring it all together by adding a bit of meat for some flavor. If you are on a low sodium diet as I am you should rinse the meat off to wash away and salts that have accumulated on the skin. Now add a carrot and, or a cucumber. This will excite the fruit in the salad, and cause the fruits own juices to mix with the oil and create a delightful bouquet. Finally, no tossed salad is complete without a glass of the perfect wine. I prefer a woody tasting, or a deep, rich, fruity wine.
It’s not very filling but it’s good for your diet and tastes terrific.
Woeful on March 9th, 2008
Try a B.V. Cabernet… It’s my standard.
Mark on March 9th, 2008
add some bruises to the fruit, for some color.
You ain’t tossing my fruit salad anytime soon, babe…
:o/>
Blondefabulous on March 9th, 2008
HHH says you can toss his salad anytime!
Blackiswhite, Imperial AgentProvocateur on March 9th, 2008
Damn,I needed a cigarette by the end of that.
daisyfae on March 9th, 2008
Ahhh - the tossed salad! nice for summer barbeques, as good neighbors can share a fresh and tasty back door treat!
Mark on March 9th, 2008
Let me rephrase that - You can toss my salad if you promise not to bruise the fruit!
Gypsy on March 9th, 2008
Are you channelling Martha Stewart?
Restaurant Gal on March 9th, 2008
You’re on spring break, right?
kyknoord on March 10th, 2008
Definitely better to toss salad than toss your cookies.
nursemyra on March 10th, 2008
that’s the most erotic salad toss I’ve ever encountered
Gorilla Bananas on March 10th, 2008
Ma’am, you are a gourmet. And a pretty good tosser too. What kind of fruit do you like in your salads?
Axe on March 10th, 2008
Tossing salad! Whatever next? You’ll be advocating Slim Fast next. Get a grip on yourself woman!!!
moooooog35 on March 10th, 2008
You need to brush your teeth after that.
Your breath smells like ass.
..but in a good way.
Tony on March 10th, 2008
remember that time i was tossing your salad and the tongs got stuck?! good times, good times….
USA_Admiral on March 10th, 2008
WOW. I don’t quite know what to think.
BDS on March 10th, 2008
I imagine that salad tossing is one of those things that people debate whether it’s better to sit back and enjoy or get active and do it yourself. It’s debatable.
upset waitress on March 10th, 2008
Woeful, Thanks I have found you can also enjoy a blush or zin. as well.
Mark, I will make no such promises, as bruising the fruit is one of the more pleasurable parts af tossing salad.
Blonde, Sicko!
Blackiswhite, Me too. Too bad I quit.
Daisy, Juicy summer time treat for sure.
Gypsy, No. Freddy Mercury.
Restaurant Gal, No, I’m semi-retired.
Kyknoord, Just remember if you toss your cookies while tossing your salad you may not have washed it properly.
Nursemyra, Your just not hanging around the right crowd.
Gorilla, I like the fruits that are fresh from the closet.
Axe, I often grip myself. Unfortunately it leads to me making funny faces and little squeaking sounds.
Moooooog, As I said before, washing is one of the most important thing about tossing salads. Just as a rule quit eating dirty6 vegetables.
Tony, Such a deluded little man.
Admiral, Try not to think. The release of toxic gases as brain cells scream can be hazardous to the atmosphere and passers by.
BDS, If you can toss your own salad, you are truly blessed.
Doctor Trollstein on March 10th, 2008
I think this post is really about weird sex.
Jenny on March 10th, 2008
I think you’ve turned into a Sex Blog.
Congrats.
Heff on March 10th, 2008
- speechless -
Vanessa on March 10th, 2008
I love a fresh tossed salad. Another trick not for a dinner party is to toss the salad then stuff it into a wheat pita pocket. Yummy!
Beaverboosh on March 10th, 2008
I toss using both hands, preferably gently drizzled in extra virgin olive oil!
queen of clean on March 10th, 2008
*shakes head*
tomato juice stings doesn’t it?
moi on March 10th, 2008
Nah, nah, you drank the WHOLE woody bottle beforehand, right? Either that, or I’m drunk. Wait, scratch that. Never mind.
walker on March 11th, 2008
some meat and nuts thrown into anything you toss has to be good for you
Tony on March 11th, 2008
deluded? that’s what the voices in my head say but they are wrong too
Native Minnow on March 11th, 2008
You can toss my salad anytime
pajama momma on March 11th, 2008
I tossed my salad three times in one day last week.
Gawd it was good.