Eagle Ray Killed By A Tourist.
Lookey what happened in asshole island my town. A tourist killed an eagle ray. The ray flew out of the water like rays do and totally Irwined the tourist. Only she wasn’t sticking her thumb up the ray’s ass. Anywho, this lady was sunbathing on a rental boat when she brained the eagle ray. The ray died on impact.
Later it was reported that the tourist died on impact too. As far as tourists go, this is by far the coolest way to kick the bucket. I would die to be a statistic like that. It’s almost like being famous. There is one more bonus. Her family will always remember their vacation in the Keys.
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daisyfae on March 21st, 2008
“Death Ray Strikes in Florida Keys”
Upset Waitress on March 21st, 2008
I imagine that family will ALWAYS have something to talk about?
becky on March 21st, 2008
The sun viser the eagle ray has on is a nice touch.
Jenny on March 21st, 2008
Another death relating to sun bathing.
Vanessa on March 21st, 2008
Dumbass. Will people ever learn?
Qelqoth on March 21st, 2008
I’m really luling over “Irwined”. That really needs to be up on Urban Dictionary.
Qelqoth on March 21st, 2008
My bad - it already is.
Native Minnow on March 21st, 2008
Ha. Irwined. That’s just funny.
Gorilla Bananas on March 22nd, 2008
So you don’t want to be tickled to death?
nursemyra on March 22nd, 2008
you’re going to end up in hell just like me and daisyfae
azahar on March 22nd, 2008
Can’t I come too?
I had some fried ray (might have been skate) the other day - very tasty.
Like ‘irwined’.
Woeful on March 22nd, 2008
That’s harsh!
Beaverboosh on March 22nd, 2008
She must have been really hot for the ray to jump out of the water to irwin her and take his own life. What a way to go!
Gypsy on March 22nd, 2008
Forgive my ignorance but I take it “irwined” is courtesy of the late great Steve Irwin. Who knew he was THAT famous to have an expression coined in his honour.
Now Sammi, I have actually just called by to wish you and yours a very happy Easter. Hope the bunny is kind to you and leaves you lots of bum nuts.
moi on March 22nd, 2008
I must say, that’s an awfully efficient way of eliminating tourists, if not such a happy ending for the poor, lovely Eagle Ray. Too bad there’s no water around here. It’s getting increasingly difficult to get the mountain lions to cooperate.
gullybogan on March 22nd, 2008
So this stingray FLEW THROUGH THE AIR into her boat and killed her?
Crikey!
savannah on March 22nd, 2008
you ain’t right, sugar!
i love you!
Blackiswhite, Imperial AgentProvocateur on March 22nd, 2008
Thus proving that lawyers aren’t all assholes, because there really is more than one side to every story. As for the going to Hell part, I suggest whoever gets there first gets a really really big table, so the rest of us have somewhere to sit when we get there.
axe victim on March 22nd, 2008
Yeah, that sun visor is a really deft touch. Kind of like Mathew Brady posing dead bodies in the Civil War with weapons for dramatic effect.
The Snarkiest on March 22nd, 2008
Too bad there was that Eagle Ray provision in the life insurance policy that won’t pay for death by collision with a flying fish.
Folly on March 22nd, 2008
Hey you a local girl too? Born in Key West.
walker on March 23rd, 2008
That’s one way to get the obituary page from the back of the paper to the front page.
I think I rather kick the bucket in bed, coming and gone at the same time.
walker on March 23rd, 2008
I almost forgot, Happy Easter
Queen of Clean on March 23rd, 2008
Wow…that’s what I need, a suicidal-tourist- killing-fish…anyone got one? Please?
Happy wotsit all!
Upset Waitress on March 23rd, 2008
becky, CNN stages most of their photos. At least the props were all ready on scene in this case.
Jenny, Have you heard this one yet? She should’ve worn sun screen. It would have protected her from the harmful rays. shawhaha
Vanessa, Tourist + Moron = Touron
Qelqoth, Hah! That’s where I found the word
Minnow, I’m sure you and your friends will be texting this word at dinner tonight.
Irwined: The act of being barbed. “I Irwined Molly”
Gorilla, Ahh! New word. Elmoed + Tickled to death.
Nursey, Blunt force trauma should be on every tourists to do list
Now that should get me to hell SST style!
Azahar, Yea apparently this lady was allergic to seafood. And yes, you can come too
Woeful, Not as harsh as the sunburn.
Beaver, She’s a granny. Ewwww.
Gypsy, Hey Hey Hey (said like Fat Albert) I knew you couldn’t stay away from my place!
Moi, Throw another tourist on the BBQ.
Gully, Gawd I can’t believe it took this long for someone to say “Crikey”. You get an A+
Savannah, Hehe
BiW, You would so take the case if that bitches family sued the rent-a-boat for not having a big enough wind shield right?
Axe, Maybe we can get him to photograph the current administration?
Snarkiest, Apparently a piece of the rock was stoned when they wrote that policy.
Folly, I’m not a Conch, but I am a cracker. Born just a few hundred miles north!
Walker, Teheehe so while you are fucking the roof would cave in or something?
Queenie, We only had one. Sorry
Heff on March 24th, 2008
I heard about this. What a unique way to go.
Catscratch on March 26th, 2008
Yah, I’m with you. Being a statistic is better than not.
she on March 31st, 2008
go devil rays!