Today’s special was turtle soup. It was very popular. Every table must have ordered two bowls of the crap. By the end of the day I was so sick of terrapin I got an attitude about it. You would think tourtise tastes terrible. They say it is made from sea turtle, but I think it’s made from sea spam. Anyway, I had had it by the time my last table came in two minutes before we closed, and ordered their turtle soup. I brought them the salad and then the entree. The man asked, “Where is my soup?” I told him I would check on it. Some time had passed by when the man flagged me down. “Where the hell is my soup?!” He exclaimed. Shortly thereafter I handed him his check with the gratuity added. He complained, “I never got my soup!” I told him, “It is on it’s way”. “On it’s way?” He queried. “How long does it take to pour a bowl of soup?!!!” He asked angrily. I said with a smile on my face, “It’ s not just soup. It’s turtle soup, and you just can’t rush a turtle.” One more unhappy customer. I probably won’t see him again, and if I do I am sure it won’t be until his soup makes it to the table.
22 Responses to ' Slow Soup. '
Leave a reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
on April 1st, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I never had turtle soup… Is it any good?
on April 1st, 2008 at 6:10 pm
It tastes like chicken soup.
on April 1st, 2008 at 6:13 pm
You and Manuel have taught me one thing; do not enter a restaurant minutes before closing.
on April 1st, 2008 at 6:29 pm
I guess there was no soup after closing time?
Why go anywhere 2 minutes before closing anyways?
on April 1st, 2008 at 6:37 pm
@ jenny or maybe not just ours……and sea spam? bwahahaha
on April 1st, 2008 at 6:44 pm
you should have brought him a bowl, but moved in slow motion… dragging your feet, slowly craning your neck from side to side. he’d have run screaming from the place before you were ten steps away!
on April 1st, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Down heah, in the sticks, we’uns lahk ta call that bowl ah goodness “Cooter”. Funny name, keeps the touristas comin’ back fo’ morah!
on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:19 am
hey darlin’ i need some of your WORDS OF WISDOM on my page to help me decide really what the fuck is up?!?!???????
on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 am
Looks like you had yourself a souper time. Didn’t Phil Collins do a song called you can’t hurry soup in the ’80s?
on April 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 am
Damn! I imagined that it tasted like pussy and now you’ve spoiled the fantasy. What does turtle steak taste like?
on April 2nd, 2008 at 4:14 am
tutrle steak tastes like pussy
on April 2nd, 2008 at 7:54 am
I don’t want soup made from an animal that swims in it’s own shit. It’s just a rule I have.
This is why I only eat beef and chicken soup – they only step in it.
This is also why I’ve never tried “Mark Spitz Soup” – as I think he also swam in his own shit.
Plus, I hear he’s chewy.
on April 2nd, 2008 at 8:31 am
I’ve eaten just about every exotic meat there is at least once (stop it). And you know what, with the exception of ‘gator, it all pretty much tastes the same. Like rubbery chicken that’s been left out in the sun a tad too long. Why fuss with it when there’s good ol’ fashioned ‘merican-raised beef?
on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 am
I know some people who swear that turtle soup is the best thing going, but I’ve never tried it. I do think it’s reasonable to think that the soup would take a long time to arrive – as you noted, it is a turtle and they are slow as hell.
on April 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
i like mock turtle soup made with ritz crackers…
on April 2nd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Snail soup arrives faster but watch out for the Birds Nest soup as you might get spit in your eye.
on April 2nd, 2008 at 9:53 pm
you’re kidding right? If not, where in the hell do you live again? Who in the heck orders this shit?
Gorilla Bananas,
~
If you are seeking a soup that taste like pussy, then Clam Chowder on Fridays is your soup.
Well at least I here that!
on April 3rd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
I have never understood the concept of ordering soup in Florida, unless yours is one of those restaurants that keeps the AC down to 52. Oh and was it Maryland Terp soup? Groan.
on April 4th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
What’s with people and weird soups anyway? If I really want a soup, I stay home and open a can of Campbells. I don’t go to restaurant for that!
Good answer though.
on April 5th, 2008 at 3:32 am
You could suggest the Hare soup the next time someone is getting impatient!
on April 5th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
It’s doubtful I would have ordered it anyway, and now I never will. But I shall think of you fondly any time I see it on a menu…
on July 15th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
i would have fired your lazy waitress ass