Slow Soup.

Today’s special was turtle soup. It was very popular. Every table must have ordered two bowls of the crap. By the end of the day I was so sick of terrapin I got an attitude about it. You would think tourtis tastes terrible. They say it is made from sea turtle, but I think it’s made from sea spam. Anyway, I had had it by the time my last table came in, two minutes before we closed, and ordered their turtle soup. I brought them the salad and then the entree. The man asked, “Where is my soup?” I told him I would check on it. Some time had passed by when the man flagged me down. “Where the hell is my soup?!” He exclaimed. Shortly thereafter I handed him his check with the gratuity added. He complained, “I never got my soup!” I told him, “It is on it’s way”. “On it’s way?” He queried. “How long does it take to pour a bowl of soup?!!!” He asked angrily. I said with a smile on my face, “It’ s not just soup. It’s turtle soup, and you just can’t rush a turtle.” One more unhappy customer that should be on hoodia. I probably won’t see him again, and if I do I am sure it won’t be until his soup makes it to the table.

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21 Comments so far

  • Woeful on April 1st, 2008

    I never had turtle soup… Is it any good?

  • Upset Waitress on April 1st, 2008

    It tastes like chicken soup.

  • Jenny on April 1st, 2008

    You and Manuel have taught me one thing; do not enter a restaurant minutes before closing.

  • USA_Admiral on April 1st, 2008

    I guess there was no soup after closing time?

    Why go anywhere 2 minutes before closing anyways?

  • Manuel on April 1st, 2008

    @ jenny or maybe not just ours……and sea spam? bwahahaha

  • daisyfae on April 1st, 2008

    you should have brought him a bowl, but moved in slow motion… dragging your feet, slowly craning your neck from side to side. he’d have run screaming from the place before you were ten steps away!

  • Blondefabulous on April 1st, 2008

    Down heah, in the sticks, we’uns lahk ta call that bowl ah goodness “Cooter”. Funny name, keeps the touristas comin’ back fo’ morah!

  • sohos on April 2nd, 2008

    hey darlin’ i need some of your WORDS OF WISDOM on my page to help me decide really what the fuck is up?!?!???????

  • kyknoord on April 2nd, 2008

    Looks like you had yourself a souper time. Didn’t Phil Collins do a song called you can’t hurry soup in the ’80s?

  • Gorilla Bananas on April 2nd, 2008

    Damn! I imagined that it tasted like pussy and now you’ve spoiled the fantasy. What does turtle steak taste like?

  • nursemyra on April 2nd, 2008

    tutrle steak tastes like pussy

  • moooooog35 on April 2nd, 2008

    I don’t want soup made from an animal that swims in it’s own shit. It’s just a rule I have.

    This is why I only eat beef and chicken soup - they only step in it.

    This is also why I’ve never tried “Mark Spitz Soup” - as I think he also swam in his own shit.

    Plus, I hear he’s chewy.

  • moi on April 2nd, 2008

    I’ve eaten just about every exotic meat there is at least once (stop it). And you know what, with the exception of ‘gator, it all pretty much tastes the same. Like rubbery chicken that’s been left out in the sun a tad too long. Why fuss with it when there’s good ol’ fashioned ‘merican-raised beef?

  • BDS on April 2nd, 2008

    I know some people who swear that turtle soup is the best thing going, but I’ve never tried it. I do think it’s reasonable to think that the soup would take a long time to arrive - as you noted, it is a turtle and they are slow as hell.

  • Tony on April 2nd, 2008

    i like mock turtle soup made with ritz crackers…

  • walker on April 2nd, 2008

    Snail soup arrives faster but watch out for the Birds Nest soup as you might get spit in your eye.

  • jahooni on April 2nd, 2008

    you’re kidding right? If not, where in the hell do you live again? Who in the heck orders this shit?

    Gorilla Bananas,
    If you are seeking a soup that taste like pussy, then Clam Chowder on Fridays is your soup. ;)~
    Well at least I here that!

  • Restaurant Gal on April 3rd, 2008

    I have never understood the concept of ordering soup in Florida, unless yours is one of those restaurants that keeps the AC down to 52. Oh and was it Maryland Terp soup? Groan.

  • Zhu on April 4th, 2008

    What’s with people and weird soups anyway? If I really want a soup, I stay home and open a can of Campbells. I don’t go to restaurant for that!

    Good answer though.

  • Beaverboosh on April 5th, 2008

    You could suggest the Hare soup the next time someone is getting impatient!

  • Jay on April 5th, 2008

    It’s doubtful I would have ordered it anyway, and now I never will. But I shall think of you fondly any time I see it on a menu…

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