Holy shit the restaurant has been busy. Busier then a dung beetle in a barn yard. Seriously . During my 10 hour shift I don’t have time to piss. The urine just absorbs back into my body. If I were an astronaut I would just wear a diaper. I don’t suppose I will go into how I hold in my shit. It’s not pretty. Also I don’t have time to eat a full meal. I just pick off of the customers plate before I serve it. If all they order is toast, I have no problem licking off some of the butter first. Of course that makes me thirsty, so then I have to sip from their drinks. Only one person noticed the lipstick on their straw. I told them that the cross dressing dishwasher must have had lipstick on his fingers when he handed me the straw. I gave them a new one. They never noticed that the backwash they were drinking wasn’t theirs. Occasionally I would steal a french fry or two. There was even one time I slurped some soup from the edge of the bowl. I took it to the table and the customer asked if the soup was good? I asked them why they would ask me that? They told me, “because you have some on your chin.” They only left me a nickel for a tip. I didn’t even have time to throw it at them. That’s how busy we are. No time for anything.
19 Responses to ' Busier than a cat trying to bury shit on a tile floor. '
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on April 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Did you hear about the waiter with the infected thumb?
He walked around with it stuck in customers’ food all night as he served. Finally someone asked what the fuck his thumb was doing in their soup.
He explained it was infected, and the doc had advised him to keep it in a warm place.
Furious, the customer countered with “Why don’t you stick it up your ass then???”
“I do”, replied the waiter, “when I’m in the kitchen…”
on April 6th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Good tips, at least?
on April 7th, 2008 at 2:01 am
If you did that to my food, I’d demand to smack you on the butt as compensation. I might then give you a five dollar tip.
on April 7th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Full up with tourists trying to be the next eagle ray target??
on April 7th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Is this high season in your part of the world or did everyone get their gub’ment refund checks in the same week?
on April 7th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Busier than a zombie at a Mensa conference.
on April 7th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Bless your little heart. You deserve every last french fry you swipe, girl!
on April 8th, 2008 at 12:06 am
Season is winding down in my realm. Time to meet up for that libation. Oh, and did I mention I WON MY POOL thanks to the Jayhawks’ win tonight??!! Scarf, slurp, munch–as long as you do it during a shift and standing up, it’s all good.
on April 8th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Have you seen the automated German restaurant yet? (it’ll be featured at my place mañana)
on April 8th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
… now THAT is busy!..
on April 8th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
you need roller skates. and full “roller derby” gear. i’d pay money to see that…
on April 9th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
You’re just making sure it’s not to hot for them, gezz don;t these peope understand what FULL service means
on April 10th, 2008 at 12:17 am
I wonder if you know that Tori Amos song The Waitress?
…so I want to kill this waitress
she’s worked here a year longer than me
if I did it fast
you know thats an act of kindness
but I believe in peace
bitch
I believe in peace
Your blog is cool.
on April 10th, 2008 at 7:36 am
if i wasn’t so lazy, i’d never eat out again, sugar! *LMBO* i heart you!
on April 10th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Tag you’re it.
on April 11th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Mmmm, stolen french fries.
on April 11th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
I don’t care how lousy a server you are, girl you can slurp my soup anytime. Enough of this turtle soup, dogs,etc. foolishness. Please get back to posting more pics of your amazing titties!!!!!
on April 12th, 2008 at 11:26 am
In the juice!
on April 12th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Where u at UW?? It’s been awhile.