Every day I have to face the ever popular question, “Is your fish fresh?”. Today was no exception. I must have had a thousand people come to the restaurant here in the sport fishing capitol of the world and ask that stupid question. I have often entertained just smacking them. However, I decided that it would be more fun to screw with them and play games. I began telling them things like… “Yes it was caught seven days ago on Mars and shipped via the Venusian transport ship Valdez”, or “No we bury it in a kim chi pot for six month and ferment it in vinegar”. Sometimes, I like to tell them that it isn’t fish at all. It is actually fillet of manatee. Other times I just say “sure” and walk away snickering. That always makes them second guess having just ordered the snapper.
on April 12th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
ummm… you sure they’re asking about menu items? could it be a pick up line?
on April 13th, 2008 at 1:30 am
Yeah, you could pull their heads down to your crotch and say “Smell it for yourself, buster!”.
on April 13th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Hmmmm…
on April 13th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I used to be a food critic for our local newspaper. I know what you know about transporting fish. When I eat out, I order steak.
on April 13th, 2008 at 9:44 am
I’m with Daisyfae, with your good looks and sparkling personality, it was most likely a pickup line.
on April 13th, 2008 at 11:31 am
LOL… The freshest the E. River has to offer!
on April 13th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
A bit personal asking about the state of your kipper!
on April 13th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Is your beef local…….? That gets right on my man tits……I’ve taken to telling them it’s from Argentina…..cunty twats
on April 14th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Or you could just say “fresh as a daisy, jackass!” Or “do you prefer week-old fish? Because we have that!” Oh wait, you were expecting more guests? And I thought you just liked extra menus laying around on the table. But of course, let me get the Visene for your mashed potatoes.
on April 14th, 2008 at 2:27 am
You should keep a live fish in a bucket and bring it out to the table to show them how fresh the fish really is.
Of course, when i say “bucket”, i mean ASPCA-approved aquarium, with regulated water temperature and supplied air hydrocirculation…
Screw it. Just hit the guy with a smelly old fish.
on April 14th, 2008 at 3:28 am
“Is your fish fresh?”
“No, it’s very well-behaved”
on April 14th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Next time, just hold your hand out and say:
“You tell me. Smell my fingers.”
on April 14th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Next time, tell them:
” Not really but it’s shipped in a douche bag, douche bag.”
on April 14th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I mean this in the best possible way.. but I think all the asshats are getting to you and maybe you should find a less annoying profession.
on April 14th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
Every day I have to face the ever popular question, “Is your fish fresh?”
Who cares? I don’t fuck fish. Is your pussy clean?
Hey, was that over the top?
on April 15th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
My favorite is when you ask them if they want to sit inside or out on the patio and they ask you whether it’s cold out there are not?
I’m like you just fucking came in from outside, how do you not know what the weather’s like?
on April 16th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I, too, work in a fish house… and the level of ignoramity amazes me! What i can’t stand is the folks who dole out the verbal tips….”you were wonderful” is the kiss of death!!!