A five gallon tub of mayo never came off the vendor’s truck today. Being just a small breakfast/lunch joint, this made it impossible to function without it. It was like a black hole came down and sucked up the whole solar system or something. This nasty crap is used for everything. Without it, a can of tuna probably wouldn’t exist because it can’t get the moisture it needs. And people that spackle it all over their sliced bread must like sperm sandwiches. I remember my granny using it to tame her afro. She’d smear it all into her hairs and it would smell like fried eggs. Which smells like farts.
11 Responses to ' Yes I Got No Mayonnaise. '
Leave a reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
on April 29th, 2008 at 2:48 am
Maybe you could bribe some of the local teenage boys to provide you with a substitute?
on April 29th, 2008 at 6:01 am
five gallon tub of mayo = great fun at childrens parties!
on April 29th, 2008 at 6:30 am
I think I hate mayo now.
on April 29th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Mayrnaise is what us folks in the south likes to put on muh sandweeches!
on April 29th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Maybe granny was trying to cover up the tuna smell.
Just saying.
on April 29th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Problem is you’re using chemical mayonnaise, and not real mayonnaise.
Here is a recipe for real mayonnaise.
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/18088/basic+mayonnaise
If you use that, then ppl will stop putting semen on their bread. Your food emporium will become a lourdes of mayonniase miracles. You will be able to retire on a billion dollars worth of tips, and settle down to a relaxing life of writing your mayonnaise memoirs.
on April 29th, 2008 at 10:44 am
I use it to lube my car engine. But I won’t eat it.
on April 29th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Mayonnaise sucks ass. Never liked that shit either!
It’s like your sandwich is infected and leaking puss all over the place.
on April 30th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Mark I like puss all over my sandwich!
on May 13th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
Ok, mayo is just wrong. I’m gonna go puke now.
on May 15th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Okay – you just put me off for life.
LOl at the granny tuna comment.