Fuck Your Mother Day
This is dedicated to all you inbred shits that panhandled for a month to take your mom-sister aunt Bubba to McDonalds for a fine dining experience. Why the hell did you come to my restaurant first? I mean, really. What about my restaurant made you think you could afford anything on a menu that wasn’t back lit and hanging on the wall behind an underpaid teenager? Sure we have the roaches and rats you are a custom to at home, but we don’t allow them to eat from the same plate and give them names like you do. Well, I suppose that isn’t entirely true. We sometimes name them chili, fritters, or the catch of the day. Upon occasion we may even call them “The Special”, but it’s not the same. I just feel sorry for Ya’ll come fathers day. I am sure it will be difficult for you to know which barnyard critter to buy a Salvation Army tie for.
daisyfae on May 11th, 2008
Did you post the Mothers Day Dress Code? “Four tooth minimum”… and that isn’t for the whole group.
Gypsy on May 11th, 2008
Great post Sammi and love Daisy’s comment. I bet there was at least one Brandine and Cletus.
Gypsy on May 11th, 2008
Sorry darl…I almost forgot. Happy Mother’s Day and I hope your clan apoiled you to a slap up dinner somewhere without a shitty diaper in sight and no rednecks within cooee.
Jenny on May 11th, 2008
with all of those Mute Monday suggestions, I thought you had finally broken down and joined us.
Abbadon on May 12th, 2008
I am sure it will be difficult for you to know which barnyard critter to buy a Salvation Army tie for.
Probably a safe bet to go with the horse. That’s what their mothers would do, given a choice in penis size.
nursemyra on May 12th, 2008
oooh I see 8 days away for blogging hasn’t turned you soft….
thankfully
Woeful on May 12th, 2008
Eat @ MILFs!
savannah on May 12th, 2008
i tell you, sugar, hallmark card holiday really are fucked up! and it sounds like yesterday was possibly worse than valentines day at your place! xox (i hope you have today off)
gullybogan on May 12th, 2008
Well, at least mum didn’t have to cook on her special day.
Qelqoth on May 12th, 2008
I know I should comment more often but these days, I’m insanely busy with real life and the management of my new writers. But I do try to visit whenever I get some time to myself.
So…fuck your mom day eh? No wonder mine is always unappreciative of the gift vouchers I buy her. I’ve been doing it all wrong, it would seem.
Cappy on May 12th, 2008
Wow, do you have issues!
Wise Old Troll on May 13th, 2008
Sounds like it wasn’t a great day. I posted a Waitress Story at my blog today. You might like it.
beaverboosh on May 13th, 2008
Yes well thankfully we are all looking forward to Mothers I (we) would Like to Fuck Day!
Manuel on May 13th, 2008
magnificent vitriol
Abbadon on May 13th, 2008
When is MILF’s Day?
Where is MILF’s to eat at?
No one tells me anything…