Three Days Long. Episode I. The Maddness Begins.
The price of oil hasn’t put a dent into all the fuck holes that come here for the Memorial day weekend. No it hasn’t. As a matter of fact, it’s the opposite. Instead of a family of five in one mini-van, it’s five families of five in one mini-van with home theater sconces on the sides. Pfft. They are carpooling down here. They all pile out of the vehicle in a manner that reminds me to buy tickets to the circus, or failed immigration policies. I served a flood of water with an orchard of lemon. I had to smack countless uncontrolled children. Finally, I had to separate every check, as if I were keeping church from state. To be continued…
USA_Admiral on May 24th, 2008
Sounds like an absolutely hell of a time. 25 in one van would be evidence of a “failed immigration policies.”
Manuel on May 24th, 2008
I fucking hate holiday weekends …….especially on the Sunday night when the fucking fuckers get all giddy about not having to go to work the next day…….I’m getting very bitter as I get older…….
daisyfae on May 24th, 2008
So, what do clowns eat? Serve them rubber fish, squeaky horn sandwiches and buckets full of confetti.
Jenny on May 24th, 2008
Uff da, you have my respect this weekend U.W.
Try not to knife anybody.
beaverboosh on May 25th, 2008
… five families of five in one mini-van.
Solves both the fuel and the housing crisis eh!
Restaurant Gal on May 25th, 2008
Long weekend horror show: Sunday is like Saturday, so it’s amateur hour redux! Monday is a holiday, unless you are working, which I am–a double. We are drinking together next week, I hope.
moi on May 25th, 2008
Y’all aren’t allowed firearms are you?
Native Minnow on May 25th, 2008
I’m working this weekend too, but at least that just requires me to sit alone in my office looking at my computer monitor and not dealing with jackasses on vacation. Good luck! I hope they at least tip well.
Gorilla Bananas on May 25th, 2008
Have you ever considered warming the lemons between your thighs before cutting them? I believe it improves the flavour. I can get you free tickets for the circus.
Abbadon on May 25th, 2008
I can get you free tickets for the circus.
I believe she is already there. 25 people in a minivan sounds like a clown car to me. Speaking of between the thighs and clown cars…how do these people find time for church with all their fucking?
Abbadon on May 25th, 2008
By the way -
it’s five families of five in one mini-van with home theater sconces on the sides.
Where I vcome from, what you’re linked to are called “sofas”, not sconces. I think your link is sofa king messed up…
Gypsy on May 26th, 2008
It sounds like our favourite loveable waitress is about to get very upset indeed. I do love it when you go on a rant.
blondefabulous on May 26th, 2008
Ah,… the ever fabolus Ghetto-ade! Made popular by those mostly subsisting on food stamps and drug money, now it has broadened it’s horizons and the entire WORLD can enjoy it’s watered down, shitty taste!
Try to rope it in and not fuck anyone up this weekend!
kyknoord on May 27th, 2008
At least you got to smack countless uncontrolled children. Every clown has a silver chiding.
Catscratch on May 27th, 2008
Hey, at least it wasn’t circus midgets piling out of a VW Bug.
savannah on May 27th, 2008
i really hope you have tonight off, sugar (tuesday)
xoxox
Mr. DNA on May 28th, 2008
Did you do something rash and end up in jail?