If It Looks Like A Dump, Smells Like A Dump…

I met a fellow blogger over the weekend. She was heading my way so we agreed to meet. I warned her that the Keys is a big dump, her hotel will be a dump, and that everything smells like someone took a big steamy dump. Except for the dump which smells like dirty, rotted, ass. Anyway, by the time I got out of jail Restaurant Gal had finally arrived. Time to party. Well, we had to wait for her cute car to get smooshed up by a drunk mangrove monkey that left the scene only to be found later in a trailer park built from driftwood. He didn’t have home insurance obviously, however as luck will have it, he did have shitty car insurance. After the police report was made and life returned to a semi-normal state, we went out for dinner. I ate my usual twigs and stems. Then it was off to the bar. Which oddly enough smelled like a steaming pile of dump at the dump with a hint of bile from the dried vomit left over from the partyers the night before. Once we were sufficiently inebriated it was time for some creative driving. With one eye closed and my head hanging out the window so that the smell of crap continuously slapped me in the face to keep me from passing out. I drove fourteen miles back to my house, which oddly enough was only two blocks away from the bar. Anyway, Restaurant Gal met me the next morning at the dumpy hole in the wall I call my job. She didn’t eat, I didn’t blame her. I had to lock the drunken cook in the walk-in because he took off his pants when he heard I had a friend coming. To end this, Restaurant Gal wanted to go home bad. While saying good bye I stole her beautiful hair clip. She says she’ll be back when the flying pigs are ice skating in hell.

See you soon RG!

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13 Comments so far

  • daisyfae on June 5th, 2008

    Hey nursemyra! Screw Spain - let’s go to The Keys instead! Sounds absolutely yummy…

  • Jenny on June 5th, 2008

    It sounds better than June in Seattle - it’s 48 degrees and raining. I’ll take your dump over mine at the moment.

  • Woeful on June 5th, 2008

    It’s always nice when friends can come out and play.

  • Native Minnow on June 5th, 2008

    Sounds like Vegas - Well, all except for the swamp.

  • Restaurant Gal on June 5th, 2008

    I cannot wait to come back, you know, to get my hair clip :)

  • kyknoord on June 6th, 2008

    Yes, but does it quack like a dump?

  • Gypsy on June 6th, 2008

    Will you promise to show me a great time like that if I come and visit?

  • moooooog35 on June 6th, 2008

    Wow…the Keys sound magical.

    You really sell it. You should be a travel agent.

  • nursemyra on June 6th, 2008

    hmmm….. I dunno about the Keys. here’s an idea why doesn’t upset waitress join us in spain instead?

    or at the very least join in corse friday next week…..

  • nursemyra on June 6th, 2008

    oooop…. I meant corset of course

  • beaverboosh on June 6th, 2008

    No wonder its not on the list of 100 places to see before you die!

  • Catscratch Diva on June 6th, 2008

    Nice. I just can’t wait to come for a visit now.

  • Axey on June 7th, 2008

    Oh yes that’s a good post from you both. What fun. I wished I cold have been there for that party! Rocktastic.

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