I Licked Your Toast.
I don’t lick customers toast because I’m hungry. I don’t even like butter. The closest thing animal fat I will eat is used cisco, but there is something satiating about licking ones slice when I’m angry. It’s no fun handling bread right after dipping my hands in money. It’s not the same as dropping it and picking it up from the floor either. That’s just involuntary. To lick it though, being completely aware that I’m slobbering on a burnt piece of sliced bread, well, that’s just conspiracy. Not only am I making myself feel better by licking the toast, but I’m also scraping my tongue clean.
Gorilla Bananas on June 11th, 2008
It’s like giving your customers a free French kiss.
Woeful on June 11th, 2008
I drink your milkshake!
Catscratch Diva on June 11th, 2008
Oh, now that just ain’t right. I’m not a bitch of a customer. I’m always sweet & I suppose I’m tipping well for that DNA.
moooooog35 on June 11th, 2008
You should see what I’m doing to your scrambled eggs.
Abbadon on June 11th, 2008
Some bodily fluids mix well with tapioca pudding. And mayonnaise.
Just sayin’, is all…
daisyfae on June 11th, 2008
kind of erotic - “baby, i totally wanna lick your toast. scrape it across my tongue slowly, feeling every tweak of my tastebuds against that gravelly and rough, butter-greased surface…”
kono on June 12th, 2008
the last person you mess with in restuarant is the waiter/waitress, the general public is stoopid, they need to read/watch Fight Club and pay close attention to the scene at the country club.
Mr. DNA on June 12th, 2008
Thanks.
ummm
Yeah, thanks.
Yes, I’m cooking at home tonight, why do you ask?