When A Waitress Cooks…Herself.
Look it here. This is my hand now. It will never be the same. Like dell memory, I never used it much anyway, so I’m not overly upset about it. Accept now it’s ugly. It’s not as ugly as George Bush or Don Imus, but it is fairy ugly. I let it go to long without getting medical attention. Now I have an infection. The doctor is going to have to scrub off the dead flesh and give me antibiotics. On the plus side all of my customers got to eat a little piece of me. I made sure that every plate was garnished with human flesh. I never had so many complements on my food. I had quite a few complements when I put my pubic hairs in the food but apparently the taste charred flesh is preferable to any of my bodily fluids that I often apply liberally. It must be the smoky flavor and crispy texture that makes the difference. I think maybe I’ll save the flesh that the doctor removes, bag it up, and sell it as pork rinds. I wonder if anyone will notice.
daisyfae on June 25th, 2008
Waitress sushi… Mmmmm….
Wise Old Troll on June 25th, 2008
Amusing post but YIKES. Thanks for submitting a recipe for the Troll Report Salad Contest. A winner has been announced.
Buffalo on June 25th, 2008
That can’t feel good.
Catscratch Diva on June 25th, 2008
You poor baby.
Woeful on June 25th, 2008
Doh!
Abbadon on June 25th, 2008
Jesus fucking Christ, sweetie, what the hell did you do???
Jenny on June 26th, 2008
Oh Good Lord.
kyknoord on June 26th, 2008
I always admire people who throw themselves into their work.
Blondefabulous on June 26th, 2008
Will you be changing the blog name to TASTEE WAITRESS?
Dude, that looked awful!
moooooog35 on June 26th, 2008
So charred, yet, so dainty.
moi on June 26th, 2008
How’d you do that? Smacking a customer silly?
Restaurant Gal on June 27th, 2008
I know that sometimes it SEEMS like putting the back of one’s hand on the grill will feel good, but actually that’s not true! I know. Amazing when you learn that. Mend fast, missy.
Seeing you the weekend of the 4th, this time for real, RG son in tow. Call my buddy with the van and tell him where he can smash up my car again
beaverboosh on June 27th, 2008
Girl, with hands like that I think you need to take the Dove Challenge, or Oil of Olay, or effin somethin’
gullybogan on June 27th, 2008
It’s true: dogs can’t tell it’s not bacon.
azahar on June 28th, 2008
Try putting rosehip & vitamin E oil on it - it’s supposed to be very good for healing burnt skin.
What happened?