I had one of those customers that really should have shopped around for some good life insurance rates He started by whistling and shouting for attention while I was in the middle of taking an order. I gave him a dirty look, but he didn’t get the hint. He began to make noises like he was clearing his throat. Just for fun I took the order of another table that came in after him. Now he was waving his arms and yelling at me to give him my attention. When I decided to take his order I was not my pleasant self. “What the fucuk do you want? You spastic retard.” I snapped at him. “Wait. Let me guess. You want water with lemon, and a grilled cheese. You obnoxious cheap bastard.” Now he was speechless. I suppose at this point he was starting to feel as if he had messed up. “That would be fine.” he said sheepishly. I was so pissed at him that I threw the heels of the bread on the plate, placed a piece of moldy cheese beside it, and put it in the microwave until the bread was soggy and the mold made swirls in the cheese. I served it to him with a tall glass of hot, dirty dishwater and a dried up lemon wedge I found on the floor. When I returned to give him his check, I noticed he hadn’t finished his food or water. “Is there a problem with your lunch?” I asked. “No.” He replied. I gave him his check. Of course I charged him for a steak dinner. He paid it without hesitation. I noticed he didn’t leave a tip, so I followed him to the parking lot with a large knife in my hand. I said, “You forgot the tip!” He promptly opened his wallet and gave me all the money he had. I think that was the first time I ever received a two hundred dollar tip without removing my shirt.