Driving Me Nuts.

I hate driving. I hate driving to work. I hate driving home. I would hate driving to the store, but I make my old man do that. The only way I would like driving is if it were like a PS3 game, and I could blast the other morons off the road with a giant devastation ray. You know, a laser beam that would normally be used to destroy planets in an awesome space game. I could handle driving better if road rage were a legal defense for homicide. I always get the dill hole that adds the two numbers on the speed limit sign to calculate how fast they should drive in front of me. Especially, when I am in a hurry to get to work, or more importantly, the bar. Maybe I will just buy a monster truck and run them all over. Maybe not. I will probably get a flat from all of the twisted metal. So, I think I will become a surgeon and perform headectomies for free as to remove as many of their heads from their asses as possible. I will start with the politicians and finish with Walmart executives. Never mind. I am just going to have another drink and go to bed.

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7 Comments so far

  • daisyfae on August 4th, 2008

    cranio-rectal inversion. time for a telethon? Which celebutard can we get to host the telethon? Sharon Stone? Richard Gere?

  • Restaurant Gal on August 4th, 2008

    You could make a killing on the roads up this way…hahaha.

  • Gorilla Bananas on August 5th, 2008

    I have this theory that you could send people where they want to go in a few seconds with a giant catapult. It should be safe if you put on a parachute first. You’ve got the perfect temperament for a test pilot.

  • kyknoord on August 5th, 2008

    I’m still waiting for the flying cars they promised us in the 50s.

  • USA_Admiral on August 5th, 2008

    You need more down time to blow shit up.

  • Native Minnow on August 5th, 2008

    Racing video games can be a dangerous thing. I used to play Grand Turismo 2 for hours at a friend’s house, and it was difficult not to drive the same way on the way home.

  • Practically Joe on August 7th, 2008

    A long time ago I had a dream I was a driver in the video arcade game “Frogger” … you know … the game where the frog ties to cross the street.
    I no longer take acid.

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