We have decided to have a hurricane sale. Everything must go. It will go bad in the coolers if we don’t get rid of it. I am selling everything that will go bad for twice the menu price. How can I do that, you wonder? Easy. I simply used the word sale, and no one questioned it. Oh sure, I had a few people wonder what the original price was, but I just pulled a figure out of my ass that was significantly higher than what I was charging them. The dumb bastards went away smiling because they thought they were getting a good deal. Morons. Of course, I didn’t tell the boss. I just pocketed the extra money. I think I will do this every time I need a little extra beer money. Hurricanes offer wonderful opportunities. Now I know that sales are supposed to be good things with low prices, but I like my way better. Anyone can find a good sale online, or on the weekend in someones yard. However, how many of those sales make a four hundred percent profit? There are deals at the car lot, deals at the mall. You can even buy some nice things like wallets, jewelry, and guns in a back alley somewhere, but nobody can sell you a bill of goods like I can.
on August 17th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
The more you pay, the more it’s worth… and if you get it for half price, it’s worth twice as much, so…. ummmm… right…
on August 17th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Very entrepreneurial of you!
on August 18th, 2008 at 1:38 am
Brilliant. This was how Rockerfeller made his first million.
on August 18th, 2008 at 8:55 am
You have many talents,
You capitalist, you!
on August 18th, 2008 at 9:51 am
great, but wtf are you going? have you left yet? i’d say come up heah, sugar, but we might have to move on along if this hurricane turns to the right! jaysus, wtf was i thinking moving from earthquake central to hurricane headquarters? xoxo
dammit i need a drink!
on August 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am
I have no clue why I’m still here. Prolly cause it’ll be the best blow job in town