Wind For Sale.

August 18th, 2008 |

I’m putting jars of hurricane wind on sale. This is the best idea I’ve ever had so far and will possibly get me out of the restaurant biz. You will have to be careful opening up the jars though because the wind will blow your mind, which I will disclose on my auction listing. I have been harvesting the wind in Ball mason jars which are cheap, all morning and let me tell you, it’s not easy work. It’s hard to separate hurricane wind from simple sea breeze. It takes a keen eye. This time I think e-bay will be okay with the listing. Not like last time when I tried to sell a bottomless pit. It seems like every time I list something it gets reported and they close my auction. WTF I can’t do business like that.

Anyway I’m going to give ebay one more chance to let me make money from their site. I am still mad about them shutting my sale of the bottomless pit. The Army corps of engineers had placed a sizable bid. It’s probably just as well that I couldn’t sell it, because I would have had the damnedest time moving it. I use to keep it in the front yard, but I lost a mail man, paper boy, and a girl scout. I have been slowly moving it to the backyard but for some reason I don’t think I’ll ever get it there. The fricking thing goes on forever.

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8 Comments so far

  • kyknoord on August 19th, 2008

    Damn. I was hoping to get my hands on that pit, ‘cos I’m sure that’s where my paycheck goes every month.

  • moooooog35 on August 19th, 2008

    .9% of people gave you positive feedback.

    Somebody has a stalker! Congratulations.

  • USA_Admiral on August 19th, 2008

    I have not heard from you, So i believe the power must have been blown off. Take it easy. and best of luck.

  • Upset Waitress on August 19th, 2008

    I’m here Admiral :) I’m taking the day off too!

  • savannah on August 20th, 2008

    just checking in, sugar. so yesterday, you were ok…and here it is wednesday. xoxox

  • Reverend Henry on August 20th, 2008

    Fay was like the false teachers. Promising much but delivering nothing to those parched for knowledge.

    Nobody mixes metaphors like the Rev!

  • gullybogan on August 21st, 2008

    Have you got any jars of malaise?

  • masquerade on August 26th, 2008

    I’m SO GLAD I found your site! I’m definitely looking forward to reading through it all after coming home from an entire day of angry people. Huzzah for money right? :)

    Thanks again for writing.

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