Anyway, I guess I’m moving out. The old man and I came to an agreement that I must be faithful to him only or else I would have to pack my bags. Well you know me, I’m just not going to have that. I told my old man that as soon as I get luggage big enough to hold my sex toys I would be outta here. He offered to buy me all the luggage I needed to get the hell out. I thought that was very thoughtful of him. Then I told him to buy me some cool luggage that would elude to the nature of it’s contents that would last forever and use over and over again.
It’s all ballerina like, and it’s my least favorite color. Pink! You can tell he was really thinking about me. This bag might fit a box of tampons, a pack of cigarettes, and an airplane bottle of booze. I fail to see what little women in tutus have to do with sex toys. Not one of them looks like they are having an orgasm. Sure they look like they are having fun, but not that much fun. For all it’s faults the bag seems sturdy enough. It just won’t hold my industrial jackhammer powered Brad Pitt blow up doll, or my Super Hoover nipple suckinator. It is a little confusing. Does he want me to leave or not? I don’t think he will miss me as much as my leather love cuffs and matching pubic hair puller. Nothing says I love you like the slow intense ripping of genital hair. The only thing I think I will miss about him is being able to squash his will to live. Judging by the inadequate baggage he gave me to move my things, I think he is pissed. I don’t care. I get to have my fun, and if he doesn’t like it he can steal my Paris Hilton I’m a dirty slut doll. When you pull the string on it’s back she says “Thats hot”, and vomits the beer he has to poor in her in order to get her drunk enough to want him.
4 Responses to ' He Can Kiss My Ass. '
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on August 28th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
so what happens if you pour beer on Paris when she’s stuffed in the bag with Brad Pitt?
on August 29th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Would you let him have butt sex with you to save the relationship?
on August 29th, 2008 at 5:24 am
Daisy: I’m not sure. I spilled vodka on her once. She got a D.U.I.. That was the last time I drove with a mixed drink in my hand. It was beer from then on.
Gorilla: Been there. Done that.
on September 2nd, 2008 at 8:45 am
General Lee speaking, if he buys you luggage, even Barbie pink luggage, he wants you to go.