Yippee my “mother-in-bitch” died. She was stirring up a big batch of “shut the fuck up soup” that fell off the stove and broke her neck on the cauldron. So I asked my old man what he was going to do about his mothers funeral. He said he wasn’t going to have a funeral. He is going to cremate her. As a matter of fact, he said after I die he’s going to cremate me too. When I asked him why he would do that, he said he’s going to take my ashes and stuff them in a blow up doll.

Then he started making gestures as if to be air fucking an invisible person saying things like “Does that ceiling still need paint? No! I’m not done yet. I came in your pussy and there is nothing you can do about it. Wow! This is the most you’ve moved in years. Why couldn’t you have been this good when you were alive? I’m not wiping that off.” Then he got rude. He was licking the air and touching his ass. I didn’t want to tell him, but I was so turned on I stormed out the door and went and got me a real dick. When I got home I yelled at him and demanded an apology. He muttered something under his breath, so I smacked him. He immediately got me a beer and went back to watching T.V.. I said, “Your not getting out of it that easy.” I would crap on him if I didn’t think he would like it.