I’m still on vacation(unemployed) for the next month or so I headed up to Ocala to molest some golf balls. I really liked them ball washer apparatus thingies. You put a ball in it and pump it up and down until it’s all shiny and stuff. My old man could use one of those, or at least a ten dollar whore to clean his nasty ass balls. Anyway, they got some of the nicest grass in all of Florida. I truly love quality grass. That would explain the goofy clothes golfers wear. They’re always stoned. The kind you want to collect for your crack whore Barbie. They told me I would need to bring my own clubs. So, I brought a group of girl scouts, some members of the Hells Angles, the local chapter of the Black Panthers, and a Mormon family. I was told one of them needed to be a driver. I thought that was going to be a piece of cake. I brought a cabby because they said I would need one to carry my bag. The other golfers seemed to be annoyed at all of the beer bottles, cookies, religious leaflets, and motorcycle tire tracks on the putting green. Apparently, they were upset at the loud music and urine in the cups. I finally got tired of the whiny doctors and lawyers yelling at me for defiling there “sport”, so we all went to the club house where the Mormons got the girl scouts drunk and took them for wives and the Black Panthers and Hells Angles got into a knock down drag out. I decided that golf just isn’t for me. I grabbed the cabby and left just as the police were arriving. We went bowling.

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