I went to get a passport yesterday which was a complete waste of time. They made it impossible for me to leave my little island. It was like getting home owner insurance in the hurricane capitol of the world. First they gave me this book to fill out. It asked questions like, “Do you own a box cutter? “, “Is your favorite holiday September 11th? “, and “Do you live in a cave? “. I mean c’mon. All this nonsense could have been avoided by simply looking in my backpack full of gun powder and ball bearings. Then they wanted to see 17 forms of identifications. But they wouldn’t accept my rap sheet. They also wanted fingerprints. I told them Osama came over for a pig roast last night and I accidentally burnt the ends of my fingertips off. Anyway, I couldn’t get a passport because it was too much trouble. It’s easier to smuggle myself into Costa Rica for the weekend. I’ll tell you all about my vacation dengue fever when I get back!