Ungrateful Child Makes Me Thankful.
It’s November and apparently I’m supposed to be thankful this month. The Mayflower people said so. Anyway, I really am appreciative of a lot of things. For example, I’m super gracious that my fat bitch neighbor pays for cable. I steal her cable and that makes me thankful that I get it for free. I’m also thankful that my brand of liquor comes in a plastic bottle. Nothing makes me praise the Pilgrims like dropping a bottle of booze that doesn’t break. Mostly, I’m just thankful I got my period. You would understand if you met my kid. Anyway, I get the Depo shot, I’m also on the pill, I have an IUD and a diaphram inserted, and when I do the nasty onused Harleys I still triple bag the man rods with spermicidal condoms. Yes I’m that thankful I don’t have more than one vaginal piece of art that made my uterus hang to the floor. Most of all, I’m just thankful that it’s over.
daisyfae on December 2nd, 2008
i had my tubes cut, tied, cauterized, duct-taped, wired and superglued shut… little Houdini has yet to wake me up from a sound sleep!
Shannon on December 4th, 2008
Just when I was having lagging inspiration on my own blog, I’m forced to attempt to reapply myself with as much humorous vigor as you have on yours. I’m trying NOT to laugh but can’t help myself. So now I’m grateful too, thanks