Alcoholics Dream Job.

January 30th, 2009 Upset Waitress | 4 Comments »

Well I finally got a new job. What’s worse then waitressing? Bartending. I landed a gig at a local watering hole. Last time I was there I lost my pants and danced like an asshole so I’m surprised they hired me. Maybe that’s why I was hired. Anyway, the best part about this job is the alcohol. I hope my new boss doesn’t think I’m going to stay sober during any shift. I’m an alcoholic and won’t be changing my ways. As long as he understands that, then we will get along just fine. If I do this right I will have him in line in no time. I have devised a plan for systematically getting inebriated. I was going to start with the cheap well booze, but I have revised that. I am going to start with the expensive call liquor and when I have a good buzz on then I will finish with the cheap crap. That way I don’t have to taste it. One of the other bartenders already hates me. I think I will hate him back more. My old man says thats not right. I say fuck that judgmental asshole, and the bartender too. I am fairly certain I will enjoy working at the bar. I am almost positive I won’t remember any of it. They want me to cook too. I told them I would and then I giggled for an hour. Apparently they have never eaten at the restaurant. Suffice it to say, I will be working soon and meeting new customers. May GOD have mercy on their souls. I won’t.

4 Responses to ' Alcoholics Dream Job. '

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  1. on January 30th, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Congratulations, but I think you were hired for your big tits.

  2. Woeful said,

    on January 30th, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    As long as you can pour me Johnny Walker Black on the rocks you will be my angel…

  3. Chef Troll said,

    on January 31st, 2009 at 10:38 am

    Mazel Tov!

  4. savannah said,

    on January 31st, 2009 at 10:59 am

    so it’s an open pour bar, sugar? ;) xoxox

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