Damn some woman was pretty much eaten alive by a doped up chimpanzee the other day. The ape was having a mood swing so his caretaker gave him a xanax and the keys to her car. So he did what every ape dreams to do. He went ape-shit and chewed the face off of a human. Lucky for the human she didn’t have nuts because that would have been first to go. I don’t think apes like humans one bit, accept for The Japing Ape, who is a blogging primate that’s into human porno . Maybe the chimp found out how much money his keeper made from his labor. Look what Michael Jacksons monkey did to his face. Sure the sex was good but he got tired of Micheal cheating on him with little boys. Anyway, the apes caretaker is an old drunk granny with the brains of a BB. Instead of having a man around to share wine and the bed with, she had a shit throwing primate. I bet she could have taught a human man to do that. I know my old man is just waiting for me to tell him it is O.K. for him to throw his shit at the walls. I think the important thing to note in all of this is that certain animals should stay in the wild and certain people should be put to sleep.
4 Responses to ' No Monkey Business. '
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on February 19th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Chimpanzees are meat eaters so what do you expect? Being human doesn’t mean you aren’t edible. Have you taught your old man to eat you out yet? I think a chimp could be trained to do that.
on February 19th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
This video is fantastic:
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/02/17/am.intv.corwin.cnn
on February 20th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Why do people thing wild animals will make good pets? OMG… they’re called WILD animals for a reason dumbasses!!! They will eat your appendages like a fresh deli platter and not think anything about it! I feel bad for the lady that did get eaten…. it wasn’t even her pet!
on February 23rd, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Oh… and I tagged you for a post thingy.